dead at seventeen
kate permalink | categories: citizens, crime, health, law enforcement, news, tampaby kate @ 9:20 am
Sunday, the front page of The St. Petersburg Times featured a story about 17 year-old Sarah Rinaldi, who died just short of her 18th birthday. Cause of death? Accidental overdose. The New Tampa teen got drunk and took Xanax, OxyContin and dextromethorphan.
Many in New Tampa blame inner city (read: black) kids for bringing drugs into their posh neighborhoods. My children attend a New Tampa elementary school and last year I taught at both Freedom and Wharton High Schools. I hear it all the time. Our black students, bused past thirteen other high schools, are blamed for corrupting white kids. Such ideas are not grounded in reality. Privileged kids with money to burn and zero parental guidance are doing this to themselves without any help from Suitcase City.
The Times asks, “Who is responsible?”
As always - look in the home. Sarah grew up with a mom who acted more like a friend than parent. She was able to sneak out and miss most of the last school year with no consequences of any kind. Yes, Sarah’s friends could have called 911 to prevent this particular death from happening. Perhaps the police officers who detained Sarah and her friend should have called Sarah’s chain-smoking and stressed out mother instead of Sarah’s boyfriend. However, Julie Rinaldi didn’t seem to know what more to do for her daughter.
It’s no secret where Sarah’s mom lays the blame.
“In my heart, I know that none of this would have happened if they (the police) had done their jobs.”
Sorry, Mrs. Rinaldi. None of this would have happened if you had done your job. Besides, Sarah was almost an adult and knew what drugs could do to her body. Read more here. There are more Sarahs out there than most parents realize. Wake up already.
Tags: citizens, crime, health, law enforcement, news, tampa
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August 21st, 2006 at 9:36 am
Parents like these are always going to blame others for their kids’ problems, and that’s even if they acknowledge that their kid has/is a problem at all. And isn’t it convenient to blame the “inner city” kids for their little darlings’ drug problems when its the affluent teens that you see cruising the ‘hood?
August 21st, 2006 at 10:23 am
This isn’t Sarah’s mom’s fault. This is Sarah’s fault. You take Xanax and Oxycontin because *you know what they do*
End of story.
August 21st, 2006 at 11:49 am
Don’t underestimate the power of parental involvement. Works wonders when kids are little and prevents problems when kids become teenagers. It’d be different if Sarah came from a loving, supportive, two-parent household, grounded in discipline and focused on education and still wound up dead at seventeen. Can’t convince me the parents had nothing to do with it.
August 21st, 2006 at 11:21 pm
It is true that parents can influence their children and should take every measure necessary to teach them. However, it is also true that they will inevitably make the decisions that shape their lives. Sometimes they make the wrong ones…nobody is perfect. It is unfortunate that at such a young age the combination of events lead to this teenagers death. I lived through the same thing with a close friend of mine and it is always a shame to see someone so young go.
August 22nd, 2006 at 1:40 pm
It doesn’t matter what side of town they are from, parents needs to get involved. I have seen a lot Mrs. Rinaldis and they come in all colors.
August 22nd, 2006 at 2:46 pm
I’m with Rachel on this one. Kids know more about the effects of drugs than their parents do.
I live in Suitcase City. Black teen sling dope. Certainly not all. But the ones that do would sell drugs in school.
There is a point when teens have to take responsibility for their own actions. I know that the kids who work at the Sonic’s on Fowler huff keyboard cleaner. That’s brain-frying shit. There is no way their parents will know they do that on the job.
August 22nd, 2006 at 4:59 pm
I really have to disagree. My parents raised my two brothers and I much in the same manner.
They were strict where they needed to be and my Dad is ex-Military, you didn’t cross him. They are still married after 50 years and we had a good family life.
But still my brothers turned to drugs and alcohol. I was 10 years younger than they were and watched as my parents fought to keep them straight and out of trouble.
They still dropped out of school and got in more trouble than Sarah ever did.
They were in their mid 20’s before they finally let go of drugs for good. My mom and Dad never gave up, but once that kid is an adult, you can’t follow them around the city and keep them away from trouble. At some point, they have to take responsiblity for their own actions.
I think it sounds like Mrs Rinaldi didn’t do enough at all. I would have fought my 17 year old daughter tooth and nail to keep her from moving out with a boyfriend.
But I do know that once the drug addiction gets in their system, it’s an addiction that that parent is now facing as well as the child. It’s a long, hard road to recovery and it affects the entire family, not just the user.
It’s not just Sarah’s mom where the blame is. Her so called friend were with her on the last night of her life. Not one of them had the responsiblity to pick up the phone and call for help. Do you think Mrs. Rinaldi would have dialed 911 that night?
I wrote about this on my blog today also.
August 22nd, 2006 at 5:31 pm
I agree with kate - the fault lies squarely with the girl’s mother. *Nobody* has the influence with a child that his or her parents do. You can’t be a friend to your kids - you have to be the one in charge, and you have to make sure they know it at a very early age and never forget it. When those teenage years come along and the kids start to rebel, the only things you as a parent really have as weapons are (1) the love your kids have for you and (2) their habits of listening when you talk and doing what you tell them.
And don’t give me that eyewash about “I teach my child to question authority”, or “I don’t want to make them unhappy because that will make things worse.” Bovine ca-ca. Equine excrementum. Those are hallmark sayings of people who really, *really* shouldn’t have kids in the first place.
If you love your kids, you will set and enforce limits. If you love your kids, you will make sure they know that every action has a consequence. If you love your kids, you will risk their anger to do what’s right for them.
You may fail. Your kids may go south anyway. But that’s absolutly not an excuse not to try.
August 25th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
Sarahs mother was the worst kind of mother. She knew more about drugs then Sarah, she had been doing them a lot longer then her own daughter. Any 17 year old need help, from school work, to relationships, to drugs an alcohol. Those of you who dont know Sarah, I wish you had. She was a lovely girl, you have no idea what she was into if you had just met her. Her father was the best father in the world, he had Sarah her whole life until she begged to live with her mother, and because she was a teenager, he let her knowing that teenage girls need their mothers at some point. After that it was downhill. Sarahs mother never told her father she wasnt living at home, so she could continue to collect child support from him. There is a lot more too the story then everyone is reading in the news paper. Im so glad that people on this site understand its the mothers fault, because another one I found was completely blaiming Sarah. Its also Sarahs fault, but this mother had full control over this. Or not because she was so waisted all the time on drugs and alcohol herself.
August 31st, 2006 at 1:06 am
In response to “Anonymous” The hate you spew is classless. You attack the mother. Do you know the mother? Did you live in her home? If the father is such a great father, where was he? Why didn’t he do something to help his daughter? Oh he didn’t know? As a father, he should have made it his business to know what was going on with HIS daughter. From what I hear, he had not seen her in months. I suppose that is also the mother’s problem right? All Sarah ever said to her friends was ” my dad doesn’t love me” “my dad abandonded me because I wanted to live with my mom” Sorry to tell you Anonymous but the mother could never fix those feelings in her daughter but the father could have only he was too busy blaming the mother. He owed his daughter that. I feel sorry for his loss. I am sure much of his inablility to cope right now, lies with his own conscience that he had barely seen or talked to his daughter in the past few years. He was too busy punishing her and blaming her mom. I never heard Sarah say her mom abandonded her. Perhaps that is why she was looking for a “father figure” in her boyfriend? Perhaps she took drugs to escape the pain of her father walking out of her life? FYI It is called a loyality bind. Children should be free to love both their parents and the parents should be the parents and support that. From what Sarah said to me, her Dad was too busy being pissed off at her mom to love her. It broke Sarah’s heart. She loved her dad and she loved her mom. If you have any respect for Sarah or if you knew her at all, you would know that and you would not bad mouth her mother. I am sure her father had his reasons for what he felt but it seems to me that he hated his ex more than he loved his child. Unfortunately he will have to live with that for the rest of his life. I do feel sorry for the whole family. This is not a time for finger pointing but you have done it in a few places and you are not being honest and are misleading readers about the truth. Now let Sarah rest in peace and show some respect to the people that SARAH LOVED.
September 7th, 2006 at 10:27 pm
Please let her rest.
November 7th, 2006 at 11:49 am
I was a very close friend of Sarah’s and knew her very well. I hung out with her pretty much everyday for the past four months of her life. She was an amazing person, who made good come out of bad. I personally think that you should not blame her mother. I think that her mother deserves a little bit more respect. Yes maybe she wasn’t as strick as other parents. I am sure that she blames her self too. No matter how good or how strick of a parent you are, if your kids want to they will try and use drugs. I can almost garantee you that uf you have kids of your own that are in High School that I either know them or have seen them getting messed up at partys and there is nothing you can do about that and this is coming from someone who just graduated last year in 2005. Trust me I know how kids fool thier parents. I went to Wharton and I also hung out with people from Freedom . Well it doesnt matter if your family is full of lawyers, doctors or teachers. That doesn’t stop the kids from going out there and getting messed up. I know so many people who’s parents have no idea about anything that they do, and probably never will. They are good liers and trust me I know that because I used to lie. You think that they are perfect little angels and they arent. They lie to your face and you swollow their BS. So please dont blame Sarah’s mother for what happened. For your information she tried to get her help, but she would lie and make her mother think that she is getting better. Let’s not point fingers, because while you are sitting there and preeching about how good your kids are, they are rollin, drinking, snorting and geting messed up…So dont think your shit doesnt stink…
November 19th, 2006 at 12:17 am
poeple that think that sarah ‘did this to her self’ should all just fuckin die..
what the fuck are you stupid or sumthin?
sarah was just having fun that spirled outta control…
all this bullshit thatt it was her moms fault and all this and that it fucking retarted.. you people have no fuckin since, it seems like if u people that are calling ur selfs her friends and shit need to re evaluate ur selfs and your friendship with her…
if shes gone then let her rest in peace
what the fuck is wrong with some of you people….
if u have somethin to say to me im on myspace im erica im on sarahs top 8…
or you can email me ericanicolerodriguez@yahoo.com
sarahs mom was one of the best people i have ever encountered, me and sarah were inseperable, she never intented to hurt her daughter she loved her, sarah made her own descions, she was a free spirit, let her rest!
I love You sarah Nicole
I KNOW WHATS REALLY UP
December 25th, 2006 at 10:42 pm
Sarah,
I pray for peace. I’m sorry. It really sucks when everyone around thinks they know what they know, but come to find out- they really don’t know crap.
Take Care Dear.
February 4th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
I was one of Sarahs closests friends. I saw her every day for over 2 years and talked to her like 4 times a day. she was a great person. she always made me happy when she was around me even if i was in the worst mood. All of you need to stop blaming Sarah and her Mother. It was neither of there faults. It was just a horrible thing that happend to the nicest girl that i have ever met. Its really pissing me off to hear people that didnt even know her place blame, espcaily when you look down on her for doing drugs and for drinking. I mean you cant honsitaly tell me that you have never done a drug of any kind,and if you say you havent then i kno you have had a beer or a glass of wine. So just STOP fucking talking bad about her and mother. I love you Sarah Nicole, i always will. I will never forget you
Trevor
June 29th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
yo i was best friends with sarah nicole. her mother didnt do that u stupid bitch she sat there stressed cuz she couldnt find sarah the police didnt do there job never took minors that are drunk in talk about things u have no clue about I LIVED IT BITCH
December 12th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Clearly her mother had given up all her parental control, and clearly those cops were dumbasses for not arresting her and her idiot friend, but ultimatly Sarah is the one who did this to herself.
She took the drugs at her own free will, and it is hard to have sympathy for somebody who doesn’t even value their own life
March 14th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Your so stupid im sarahs cousin you dont even know your just ignorant you didnt even know the situation heck you didnt even know them your just some stupid person who cant write mrs. rinaldi tried hard and kept sara in her room and she went out the window sara didnt even live with her mom wen she turned sixteen so your just a ignorant lady