pittsburgh: we don’t need no stinkin’ helmets
ski
How does it feel that Ben Roethlisberger is more man than you’ll ever be? For breakfast Big Ben eats a dozen rattlesnake eggs… raw. He rides his hog to practice without a helmet… into oncoming traffic. He dodges 350 pound lineman all day at practice, shedding them like they were members of the Stanford band. He then comes home and watches “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” on TIVO. And for dinner he eats three steaks raw before deflowering four virgins. That’s just how Big Ben rolls.
What chance do the lowly Bucs have? The best thing the Bucs have going for them is that the starting quarterback looks like a drug dealer.
Steeler to Watch: Fast Willie Parker
How lame is it that Fast Willie Parker is the best sports nickname in the past decade (with the exception of Booger)? All the nicknames now-a-days are nothing more than abbreviations… L.T., K.G., A-Rod… lame-O.
Buc to Watch: Bruce Gradkowski
Making a return to his home town Grads is already in troubled waters. The rumored contract offer to Simms should be a clear signal, unless Grads improves his play over the last five games he can expect to be demoted next season. Grads has ten turnovers in his last four games so an improvement shouldn’t be too difficult. But is Grads more Kyle Orton or more Tom Brady? I’m guessing he’s more Orton, but I wouldn’t mind being wrong.
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December 2nd, 2006 at 5:32 pm
I’ll take the Paper Champions by a field goal.
December 2nd, 2006 at 10:21 pm
You know, to be frank and honest when I saw Ben play during his rookie year I thought of Joe Montana specifically. The guy is good.
That being said, Ski, your description of Bruce Gradkowski has got to be the best, most accurate description of the guy that I have read. THe only stuff you see in print are fluff pieces with how much the media likes Gradkowski, or giving him the benefit of the doubt because he is a rookie.
It’s not like Bruce deserves to be tarred and feathered but at the same time, if the shoe fits (”looks like a drug dealer”)…
December 3rd, 2006 at 9:18 am
Thanks John. As much as I like Grads )and his pre-game up-chuck) he isn’t the quarterback of the future for this team.
December 3rd, 2006 at 12:15 pm
But neither is Simms unless Gruden leaves or learns that he’ll have to change the offense around a bit to accommodate Simms. He is not the right quarterback for Gruden’s dink-and-dunk pass plays. I don’t know that Gruden is humble enough to admit that and change.
December 3rd, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Gruden was too inept to drill it into Simms head that he had to drop back further in the pocket… That speaks volumes.
Gruden is also too inept to fire Bill Muir who’s offensive lines have not improved during his tenure in TB. I feel like I’m watching the Bush administration — Deny there is a problem and there won’t be one. Deny doing anything about the problem and shift the blame to someone else and all will be fine because you have capital in your name.
December 3rd, 2006 at 6:59 pm
I predict the Bucs will win big! GO BUCS!!!
December 3rd, 2006 at 7:34 pm
To a degree, I gotta agree with John for once. Remember, Bill Muir was hired BEFORE Gruden, in anticipation of Bill Parcells coming to coach. I don’t understand why Muir is still here, except maybe the Glazers like him. Gotta disagree about the QB drops, the ugliest sack Simms took this year was on a 7 step drop. And John, stop hating USF basketball (4-0)! Big game at the SunDome Tuesday, 7 PM!
December 4th, 2006 at 9:07 am
I meant the paper champs would GET a field goal.
December 4th, 2006 at 1:03 pm
suuuuuuuuuuure Tommy, Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure
December 4th, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Bull — the QB getting sacked on a drop back has nothing to do with him dropping back at all. It has to do with the offensive line and the opposing defensive line. Dropping back further just prevents passes being deflected by the opposing defensive line. It does not mean a QB stops being at risk for a sack.
December 4th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Coming from someone who roots for another crappy team (GO SKINS!), I have to say I feel bad for you. Your QB situation is in the dumps, especially when you consider that Gruden’s job has to be on the line. Gradkowski, McCown, Simms? Or will it be Plummer? The O-line is terrible and the only wideout with any skill is Galloway. Despite all the talk, Clayton runs poor routes and drops passes. I say keep your 3 QB’s, make ‘em duke it out for the starters job and then go with the winner. If you bring in another guy who doesn’t know the system you’re sure to lose (unless you bring back Dilfer, HA!). In the meantime, get a decent O-linemen through FA, a good, tall possession WR and stock up on defense through the draft.
December 4th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Screw it… TESTAVERDE!
December 4th, 2006 at 5:30 pm
you talk as if RATTAY doesn’t even exist!
Actually, we should probably check to see if Joe Ferguson is around somewhere..
December 4th, 2006 at 5:38 pm
what about Craig Erickson and Scott Milanovich?
With Gruden’s preference being older players, Steve DeBerg could have a shot at a roster spot if he tried out :p
December 5th, 2006 at 8:11 am
BTW, I thought I’d like to mention that this paragraph,
“How does it feel that Ben Roethlisberger is more man than you’ll ever be? For breakfast Big Ben eats a dozen rattlesnake eggs… raw. He rides his hog to practice without a helmet… into oncoming traffic. He dodges 350 pound lineman all day at practice, shedding them like they were members of the Stanford band. He then comes home and watches “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition†on TIVO. And for dinner he eats three steaks raw before deflowering four virgins. That’s just how Big Ben rolls.”
is the funniest thing I have read on this site in a long time.
December 5th, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Amen Jason.
September 7th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
[...] Scott, I’m half Italian, a quarter Polish and a quarter Irish… Aren’t I allowed to self mock by race in this case? Also, I was repeating something that Ski had implied on Sticks of Fire ages ago. [...]