judging american idol
tampafilmfanConsidering a recent theme of meanness, I present this season’s American Idol.
I don’t really care for the show and have only watched a handful of episodes. I’m not a fan of so-called “reality TV.” I like my TV fake: larger than life, fun and full of escapist fantasies. If I wanted to see real people doing regular things, I’d turn off my TV, get off my couch and re-join society. (Plus, singing back-up with some friends to the Supremes’ “Stop in the Name of Love” in my 5th-grade talent show pretty much killed off any interest I had in singing and music.)
Last season I watched the first couple of American Idol episodes just to see what the big deal was, and found myself fascinated by all the rejected contestants. Did these people really think they could sing? That they were the next American Idol? Watching their auditions was far more entertaining to me than watching the successful wannabees move on to the next round.
On Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, I tuned in to the first two episodes of this season’s American Idol, expecting to see a few off-key, sadly funny attempts mixed in with the usual bag of hopefuls. Instead, what I saw was an absolute freak show. A horde of very unusual-looking people with little or no singing ability proceeded to the audition stage, where one by one they were mocked, insulted and laughed at by the AI judges.
Yes, there were a lot of – take a deep breath and summon my inner Mean Girl — unattractive and weird people auditioning, most of whom had terrible singing voices and were probably tone-deaf. Yes, American Idol always throws in a few people who shouldn’t have made it past the first tryout, to spice things up a little. Yes, Simon is notorious for being mean. Yes, if you are going to audition, you should be able to take criticism. Yes, it’s only a TV show.
But to have Simon, Randy and Paula laugh during the auditions and make fun of how the contestants look is too much. Too mean, too cruel, too vicious. Calling the guy with big eyes a “bush baby,” telling the soft-spoken guy to put on a dress and be a female impersonator, calling the extremely tall woman (who made it through to the next round) a “giraffe” is unnecessarily harsh. Simon told one contestant (the “bush baby” guy) ”you don’t look like an American Idol.” I can only assume he’s referring to the traditional Hollywood good looks of AI winners Fantasia Barrino and Ruben Studdard or runner-up Clay Aiken.
It’s one thing to criticize contestants’ musical talent and quite another to make fun of their physical attributes. Besides, have Simon, Paula and Randy looked in the mirror lately? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
But there’s no such thing as bad publicity, I suppose. American Idol is what everyone is talking about. In the U.K. In New York. In Canada. In St. Pete. Even Rosie O’Donnell called the show “so sad.”
The strategy apparently worked, because American Idol scored stellar ratings. What does that say about our society?
Personally, I’m going back to my sofa and my non-reality, escapist TV. Because there’s never any controversy there, you know.
(cross-posted at http://www.tampafilmfan.com/)
Tags: music, tampa, tv
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January 22nd, 2007 at 5:43 pm
I read the original article you wrote and found it to be in good taste and humor. I too have my own life of reality and appreciate your take on this. It’s fifteen minutes is WAY OVER.
I wonder why you changed your original piece. It was funnier the way it was first posted.
January 22nd, 2007 at 7:16 pm
I agree that it’s lingering on the border of mean this season so far. It’s beyond cringeworthy. It’s like people-watching at the mall during the holidays and following the lady who just tripped over her shoelace to see if she does it again.
But all of this kvetching is kind of like complaining about getting nibbled on while dangling in a shark cage surrounded by chum. Everyone knows the risks involved.
After 6 years, there is no mystery to “Idol.” It’s not as if no one is aware that a million cameras are focused on their every pore, on every flaw, on every nervous tick and quiver in their vocal chords. Everyone knows Simon’s an ass. They know that this is a nationally televised freak show. Brutal truth will be uttered. Stress will manifest itself in ways the human body cannot accomodate. Egos will crumble. Those with nothing to lose will bet it all. And, occasionally, some will win big.
And yet thousands put themselves in the middle of those crosshairs. Why? Because even the, uh, genetically diverse individuals like William Hung can sometimes strike gold. A goofy Chicken Little kid like Kevin Covais with good pipes can make it to the final group. The Rushmore-sized Mandisa can blow a room away with her tremendous vocal ability. A Clay Aiken can transform himself from a fey shoe salesman into a singing star. Overnight.
Lemur Boy and Fatty Arbuckle from last week were so offended by their cruel and inhuman treatment that they walked it all the way onto Jimmy Kimmel’s show. For many of these people, celebrity condecension is a form of currency they can capitalize on in the nanosecond before the exchange rate plummets. Some people can shatter a glass with their purity of their voices. Other people are born to staple their ass-cheeks together for the amusement of others. It’s a cruel entertainment truth.
It might not be right. It might not soothe the brittle sensibilities of Rosie O’Donnell (who, by the way, owes me the cost of one therapy session for showing up in a dominatrix costume in “Exit to Eden”). But it’s everything television is supposed to be, which means that it’s compelling enough to make the viewer sit through ads for crappy Ford vehicles. That’s all this is.
I wish it was more. I wish it was something deeper and trancendent and enlightening. Maybe it is. Maybe we’re just not looking hard enough for the larger moral and spiritual meanings. Maybe the truth is that we’ve turned into a mean-spirited batch of bullies. If that’s the case and this show has become a reflection, a national therapy session for the value of a thick skin and self-realization, perhaps some good can come.
Until then, pass the chips and salsa.
January 23rd, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Anonymous — Thanks. The “meanness” links in my original first paragraph were removed by Tommy, which is his right as Editor and Blogging God. I hope the post is still somewhat funny.
Jeff — Well said. You should have written this post!