hey, rick baker! ever heard of a SHELTER?!
Hooooray, guess what I did tonight? Kicked it with a homeless dude, of course, ’cause, you know, you made such a point of it.
I walked out of the Garden, where Sam The Pickles was playing the deep drum-n-bass, makin’, like, two pretty girls shake their ass for fun, before I hit the Brandy’s Liquor Lounge for the real Bon Jovi throwdown, courtesy of The Movie.
On the way to the Benz, I saw a homeless gentleman that I’ve seen for some time. He looks disarmingly like Snoop Dogg, with very handsome, canine features and clean, thick cornrows and a long, blue jacket (I wear my shit on the left side, ’cause, yeah, that’s the Crips side). He is perfectly non-intrusive, but lives off your money, simply by asking for it, without providing service in return. Read your Locke. Yes, it’s common. I don’t care.
“Can I have a cigarette?” I asked him. I truly didn’t have one. I truly wanted one.
“Sure, baby, for you, anything. Look in my backpack. I have to go to the liquor store.”
“I ain’t lookin’ in your backpack. I asked you for something. Do you have it?”
“Yeah, I got it.” He fumbled. I pulled out a dollar - a fair price for a vain and privileged girl to give for a long, menthol 305. He took the dollar swiftly.
He walked into the liquor store and left me with the full pack.
I pulled out one cigarette and lit it. I opened the door to Detroit Liquor, where the Snoop Dogg look-alike was doing his best to convince the gentleman behind the counter that the hour was early enough to buy booze.
“Thank you, sir. I only needed one,” I said to him from halfway inside the door.
I threw the pack on the counter for him to take it back and walked toward the Benz.
Reb Beach of Whitesnake will be at the State Theatre in about two weeks. I had to leave to talk to the owner of The Uptown Bar about offering Mr. Beach an afterparty.
I was halfway down the sidewalk when I heard, from about two and a half blocks back, “Hey, Shorty!”
The call came again, “Hey, Shorty! Shorty! Shorty! Shorty! Shorty! Shorty!”
I’m five feet, ten inches, and that’s without the heels. No one could say, “Shorty,” and mean me. I further know that gentlemen do not yell down the street like that. I kept walking.
Half a block later the voice is closer to me.
“Girlfriend! Girlfriend!”
Well, that ain’t Mark Michaels, so I know, again, it ain’t for me. I keep walking to the Benz. I never turn around. I never hasten my pace.
A police officer was standing by my car. Another Benz was parked next to me.
“Hey, you wanna race?” said the kid in the other Benz, in plain view of the officer.
The Snoop Dogg look-alike was out of earshot or had given up by this time. I don’t know. I don’t care.
“What’s your name?” said the guy in the other Benz, in front of the cop.
“Mercedes,” I said and drove away, safely, slowly, thinking about you, and a cop kickin’ it by my car for no reason, and a homeless man that is perfectly sufficient asking you to hand him things.
I got a lot of flack when someone handed me things, so I stopped doing it.
My, oh my, what a difference a year makes.
Your challenge - buy something off a homeless person at an exorbitant rate. Don’t let the transaction take longer than it needs to.
Now pretend you go out and see police at every corner. I know you weren’t there, because the street was empty, except for the Snoop Dogg look-alike who sold me a stoge at a dollar (a 400% markup). Pretend also that you could handle the same transaction as smoothly.
And now tell me I wanna beat people up.
Tags: citizens, pinellas, service, tampa
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January 25th, 2007 at 10:18 am
Cool. But naive of an astute chick to believe no one was there because the street was empty.
Wasn’t the dollar YOUR idea?
just checkin.
For the record — I’m not angry with you like some of the people I saw at your blog (ouchie)
I think you are ‘adorably heartless’ but paris hilton does not come to mind.
anyhoo — the court’s still out — keep yakkin
January 25th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
And…?
January 25th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
wow, like, incoherent. totally.
January 25th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
mmmm, like, Homeless.
January 25th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Now that’s just terrible writing. Blech.
January 25th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
so are you saying when you are by yourself you can be “nice” to a homeless person but when you are with your peeps you can’t?
January 25th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
It’s kind of hard to tell what she’s saying, what with the homeless guy, and the cigarette, and the dollar, and the liquor store, and the cop from outa nowhere and then the *other* guy in the luxmobile, wha?… But one thing is clear: she is a vain and privileged white girl.
January 25th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Rachael,
Your original post has exposed an attitude toward the homeless that is not unusual but not often expressed in the blogosphere. Its not politically correct. Your timing was good; with two murders and the box cutter incident public sympathy for the homeless is strong.
You described incidents where a friend was punched in the jaw and another friend was about to receive an unwanted touch.
I don’t blame you for overreacting when confronted with physical violence.
When the person banged on your car window your friend chose to stop and teach him a lesson. The guy in the bar was forced to retreat. You learned that violence and the threat of violence worked. The problem went away. We all tend to be very happy when a threat to our safety is removed.
You and you friends were lucky that these guys didn’t pull a gun or a knife. A better response would be to retreat to a safe distance and call the police, and then make yourself avaible as a whitness. This does not provide the instant gratification that you might get from beating someone up
but it does help society by taking a bad guy off of the street where they could bother the next person to come along.
I suggest that you spend a few hours with more typical homeless people. You might go to a shelter like ASAP in St. Pete and offer to volunteer. Here is there site:
http://asaphomeless.org/
Stories that I see equate homeless with beggars, bums, drunks , and dangerous criminals. These types are the most visible of the homeless. We assume that they are homeless but some do have homes, they just don’t like to work.
There are guys who get drunk under the tree on Newton Avenue in the Bartlett Park neighborhood. Some of them drive home to “better” neighborhoods where the city won’t let them get away with this behavior.
Most homeless are people like us who just ran out of rent money. Some made dumb mistakes and others had their savings wiped out by unexpected bills. Some are kids who made a bad choice when they picked poor parents. Tonight they will be out in the cold and the rain.
They could use a break.
January 25th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
I dont have a clue what you just wrote about or what your point is.
January 25th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Too bad you can’t “hit ignore” on blog entries the way you can in chat rooms. If this keeps up I’ll have to start reading Blurbex more often.
January 25th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Huh?
January 25th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
i suggest we all just go back to what we’ve always done. mind our own businesses and steer a wide berth around guys who look like they dont bathe.
January 25th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Were you drunk or stoned when you wrote this?
January 26th, 2007 at 1:42 am
You’ve got a certain Imelda Marcos quality to you.
January 26th, 2007 at 1:44 am
wait, was that supposed to be a story about how NICE you were to the homeless guy? don’t you think the phrase “canine features” might have undercut that effort a tad?
white girl. benz. shut up.
January 26th, 2007 at 2:59 am
So, apparently to write for Sticks of Fire you need….? Oh never mind, I’m a paranoid megalomaniac too…
Rachel, wanna be on the radio? People can hate on you live, in real time. These comments are fun, but that would be totally, like, Hobbesian.
January 26th, 2007 at 5:50 am
[...] As Lindsay at Majikthise very helpfully points out Moran is writing about the homeless again and, as the lady herself once saw fit to grace us with her exalted presence and we continue to take a proprietary interest, I popped over to take a look. [...]
January 26th, 2007 at 9:00 am
–On the way to the Benz,–
Your writing is unintentionally funny. Do you smoke crack?
January 26th, 2007 at 9:31 am
I wonder if this chick realizes the extent to which she’s damaging her future. The only place she’s employable at this point is New Gingrich’s presidential campaign, and that isn’t going anywhere. Seriously, she should count her blessings that people haven’t made her more of an issue. A few boycotts launched against anyway who hired her and she’d be destitute for life. I’m sure she’s stupid enough to think she’s protected by anti-libel or wrongful termination laws, but she’s not. You can’t get rewards for libel if you actually said the things you’re being called on, and scumbags aren’t a protected group.
January 26th, 2007 at 10:27 am
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/23/AR2007012301647.html
January 26th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Dear Rachel,
Your puerile facscination with the homeless as other is obnoxiously uncompelling. You aren’t contributing anything new: we already despair from being surrounded by sociopaths like you. Your writing is fucking god awful too. Please stop, you revolting piece of trash!
January 26th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
You want to beat homeless people up.
But you want to think you are still a good person too, so you overpaid for a smoke. Next time give the guy $10 and just punch him - it’s like paying for a service, right?
January 26th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I think you’re great rachel. Finally something remotely interesting on this blog. did any of you disdainful commenters read the last few posts on this blog? *yawn*. some dude ate cappys pizza. some guy has another kid. jesus at least rachel* makes me want to bookmark this site. i got your back rachel. Faux-intellecutals hiding behind a keyboard and anonynimity don’t impress me much. ignore them and keep up the writing. I, for one, definately read this blog more because of you.
January 26th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
More at http://www.myspace.com/interbaysuperstar
January 26th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Progressive Gold - I love the last name references, but, please call me Rachel*. I’d be happy to call you by your Christian name if you told me what it was.
Utica - Some of the best lookin’ guys I know are dogs. No harm, the homeless guy is quite handsome.
Phantom - would “on the way to the geo” make it better? Fuck you, dude, I work hard, I got a dope car. I know when I’m funny, silly. 26 with the highest E-class you can get. Niiiiiiiiiice. (”Do you wanna ride in my Mercedes, boy?”)
Anonymous #24 - Thanks!!!!
Soulite - Do your homework. I’ve already given up quite a bit of things for freedom to write what I think. It really hasn’t been that damaging. See response to Phantom.
January 26th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
"Anonymous #24 - Thanks!!!!"de nada
January 27th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
You can fit a lot of shit into an E class.
January 27th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
How magnanimous of you to spend a whole DOLLAR on a cigarette, Rachel! I mean, I suppose we should all just forget about how you advocated the verbal and physical assault of homeless people now. Thank you for showing us how utterly lacking in class, intellect, and creative writing skills you truly are. Keep up the good work! You’re saving others the trouble of having to expose you for what you are–a waste of perfectly good carbon.
February 20th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Rachel,
Even dogs don’t shit in the same place twice.