transformers takes us back
Bob RossKiddie-toy fantasy delivers an adult portion of effects.
Transformers
(PG-13; 144 minutes)
Massive live-action stunts and spectacularly complex CGI machine-creatures merge seamlessly into the nonstop action-fantasy “Transformers,” the loudest, longest, most logic-defying guilty pleasure of this summer season.
If you were a kiddie cartoon geek in the ’80s, you know all about the alien robot race that visited Earth to befriend or besiege humanity — depending on which type of Transformer you’re talking about. The toys and tapes were totally popular for a while. But the TV show (and a largely forgotten 1986 animated feature) had almost faded into pop-culture history when someone got the bright idea to reinvent the franchise as a megabuck summer spectacular.
That “someone” included executive producer Steven Spielberg, who knows how to put a touch of emotion into even the coldest computer-generated characters. Add director Michael Bay, the master of visual overkill, and you get your money’s worth — assuming you bought your ticket expecting to be blown away by monster effects and the most complicated screen robots yet devised.
The old Transformers — cars and trucks that converted into super-smart machines — look downright primitive compared to the new guys on the planet. The plot is essentially a fight between the good Transformers, called Autobots, and their evil enemies, the Decepticons.
Caught on the battle line is our world, on which some hugely important doodad has been hidden for three generations.
Shia LaBeouf leads the story’s earthling contingent. He plays a teenager named Sam, whose great-great-grandad was the Arctic explorer who found (and hid) the mysterious magic cube that the Transformers go to war over.
Other humans here include the mandatory cute girl (Megan Fox), some brave soldiers (led by Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson), a pompous secretary of defense (Jon Voight) and a cartoonishly vile federal agent (Jon Turturro).
But these folks are mere moral support for the real attractions: Battling ‘bots that can wreck downtown Los Angeles while blasting each other into flaming submission.
The pseudo-mythological plot makes no sense. It doesn’t have to. “Transformers” is all about the massive explosions, the nifty shape-shifts and the booming soundtrack. Little jokes punctuate the action, but the heart of the film is its final confrontation — an all-out battle that seems to go on forever. Oddly enough, we didn’t mind it a bit.
“Transformers” brings out the toy-crazed boy-child in all of us. That’s why we give it a B+.
More movie madness at BobRossMovies.com
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July 3rd, 2007 at 2:17 pm
You gave this hunk of garbage a B+?
Have you given ANYTHING something other than a B+?
Every Michael Bay movie is the same. Here is something I thought was funny from another review:
Bay’s movies follow the same exact formula over and over again, almost to the point that Bay doesn’t even have to put his name in the credits anymore. We know that the mess that came before it came directly from him.
Here is Bay’s basic pitch: Ordinary even “loser”-like people who in reality have no chance of ever becoming anything suddenly get sucked into a series of extraordinary events that will turn them into instant heroes — no matter how unlikely — filled with over-the-top humor and pop culture references that 10 years from now people will roll their eyes at. Government is involved of course, who is nothing more than a bunch of patriotic robots who had all the answers in front of them, but were too dumb to see it.
From there, Bay simply adds some extra detail like “asteroid the size of Texas heading to Earth” or “Japanese attack military base in the Pacific Ocean” or in this case, “robots from another world invade and fight each other on Earth.”
July 3rd, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Next time leave a link, so we all know you are a Science Fiction geek (plus to give credit where it is due). Read the whole review on SyFyPortal.com.
July 4th, 2007 at 1:23 am
Although this review does basically say that the movie sucks but he liked it anyways.