2037: tampa was boring 30 years ago

At lunchtime today, Mayor Pam Iorio cut the birthday cake, and passed it out to about 250 citizens. The City of Tampa celebrated its 120th birthday by accepting a handful of items to be placed inside a time capsule. The capsule is to be opened in July of 2037, and I can’t help but think that future citizens of Tampa will be sorely disappointed. Or perhaps bored to tears.

I don’t know how much time these “Tampa dignitaries” had to come up with submissions, but let’s just say that it appears they had to cram for this exam.

Jack Harris emceed (just as he likely will in 2037), and opened the event with the same tired historical facts. He then introduced the dignitaries, and one by one, they offered the most mundane items to the mayor. Basically, the Honorable 2037 Tampa Mayor will have to spend his or her first couple of hours watching DVDs, then will have to wade through self-serving books, newspaper clippings, and brochures.

Along with a DVD player (in case they go the way of the 8-track), Kelly Ring submitted a DVD of a Fox13 newscast and recent aerials of the city from SkyFox 13. Jim Tarbet of YMKG gave the YMKG Treasure of Memories DVD. Robert Wolf donated a DVD about HCC. The Mayor’s Youth Corps gave a DVD of a show they did. Jack Harris included DVDs of ABC Action Newscast and two shows from The Mayor’s Hour, as well as a CD of this morning’s AM Tampa Bay broadcast.

Jack Harris also submitted his book (find it easily in stores), Steve Otto gave his upcoming book (find it in stores soon), and Fred Hearns offered his book. Reynar Pater chose USF’s 50th birthday book. Andrea Gonzmart included the current menu from the Columbia Restaurant. Ron Vaughn gave some written information about the history of the University of Tampa, along with copies of old postcards.

Ernest Hooper culled a handful of columns about local youth overcoming obstacles. He hopes to check in with them and see how they are doing in 2037. E. J. Salcines included a copy of the 75th edition of La Gaceta. Jack Harris threw in a copy of the 85th edition of La Gaceta. John Dingfelder offered a copy of today’s Tampa Tribune as well as the St. Pete Times. Joseph Caetano included clippings of all the newspaper articles where he was quoted.*

Tampa’s Poet Laureate James Tokley wrote a poem, and in it he talks about global warming melting the icecaps which causes the Hillsborough to flood. And the three big cities become one around a bigger bay. To be sure, Tokley’s poem will be the highlight of the time capsule.

Besides Tokley’s poem, other reading materials for the future mayor include magazines that Jack Harris brought – Tampa Bay Metro’s Best of Tampa Bay issue and the TBBJ Book of Lists. Dingfelder put in the phone list for the City of Tampa (he didn’t say if the Arts Czar is crossed out or not). Gwen Miller sent a letter to be included. The Mayor’s Youth Corps also wrote an essay and included a photo. Fred Hearns wrote a letter and added some family photos. UT gave copies of postcards of UT dating back to 1900’s. Mayor Pam wrote a letter to the mayor of 2037.

As for actual items, TMKG gave some Gasparilla beads, Jon Gruden sent a Tampa Bay Buccaneers Super Bowl XXXVII jacket, and Dingfelder threw in a cell phone, in case they don’t exist in 2037.

That is it. No touch screen voting booth, no faulty pier from the Selmon, nor a Jessica Sierra commemorative drink glass. Hell – I could have put in my noise ordinance warning. There could have been dead sod from your yard, a deed for a Trump Tower condominium, or even a sickness bag from a cruise ship. At the very least, they could have put Bob Hite in there perhaps wearing one of Mayor Pam’s I am Tampa t-shirts.

Maybe I’ll put together a Sticks of Fire Tampa Time Capsule… You got anything to donate?

*I’m not making that up.