come out and play
tommy… or is it “Stay Home and Sulk”?
For her 18th birthday, Wifey and I took the High School Senior to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casin o. She had gotten some birthday spending money from friends and family, and I thought it would be a good idea to teach her how to effectively make it disappear at the slo t machines.
As we showed her the ropes, she learned there is a lot more than just
- a. insert money
- b. place bet
- c. pull handle
- d. repeat until broke
For instance, the Degenerate Gamblers Rewards Gimmick.
Before you sit down at your first machine, you gotta visit the Degenerate Gamblers Rewards Gimmick Concierge Desk (they MIGHT call it the Players Club or something like that). Give ‘em your name and ID, and they give you a plastic card that can track how much you lose play at the place. Each time you play at a table or any machine, you rack up points, and after 20 years or so, you will have enough points for a free soda or something.
So the 18 year old became a member of the Degenerate Gamblers Rewards Gimmick, and after a small handful of visits to the Hard Rock, she has earned at least a couple of points. But yesterday we learned that she has only FOUR DAYS to redeem those rewards.
You see, Governor Crist gave the Seminoles permission to add some Vegas Style Table Games, and convert all those Bingo Based Slots to real Vegas Style Slot Machines. In exchange, the Seminoles agreed to disallow those under 21 to play with these more official gam bling options.
In preparation for that upgrade, Doug Hoppe, VP of Sales & Marketing of the SHRH&C sent out a letter to the High School Senior, explaining that as of April 1, she is no longer welcome as a member of the Degenerate Gamblers Rewards Gimmick. She is no longer welcome to play those one-armed bandits. (She can, however, continue to play poker.) She is no longer welcome to collect points, redeem offers, participate in any promotions, or redeem points.
Of course, the minute she turns 21, all bets are off (so to speak), and she will be reinstated as a full member of the Degenerate Gambler’s Society.
But in the meantime, these sharks have given her 4 days’ notice to find time to get to the glorified Bingo Palace, redeem her points, and get that free piece of Hard Rock Candy (or tiny trinket, or cash, or whatever) she so richly deserves.
By the way, SHRH&C PR guy Gary Bitner says some Vegas Style Slots could be in the Tampa casino as soon as June 1. We’re betting (ha!) that you will see some in there by mid-May.
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March 28th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Interesting parenting technique. How did they teach her about drinking, drugs and safe sex? I am betting Hubby and Wifey rolled them all into one prety sick lesson.
March 28th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Hey Joe!
“they” is my wife and I.
Each of those subjects you mention are pretty vast, and deserve at least individual lessons, don’t ya think?
Our “parenting technique” is pretty simple, Joe. It’s based on openness and honesty. And it seems to be working out fine.
Thanks for your interest!
March 29th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Geez, Joe, don’t hold back! Obviously you don’t have kids, or know anybody who does, to draw that weirdo conclusion.
Tommy this does sound like bad timing. Semis could have drawn the line at anyone turning 18 before a certain date, like the state did when they raised the drinking age to 21 back in the day. But the Tribe had their eye on the bigger money and were probably also distracted by Charlie’s bright smile/hair.
I’ve tried out the new “Vegas Style” machines at the Hollywood and they aren’t bad. Took me nearly an hour to blow my dough on video blackjack. Now we’ll have more options for easy come easy go!
March 31st, 2008 at 9:21 am
Joe -
My senior high schooler that by the way is a Girl Scout, AP student, honor role student, USF accepted, National Honor Society member, Interact member, GAP member and I could go on all day! We teach her life so that she knows what is out there. She knows the difference between fun and addiction, moderation and excess and I trust that the lessons we teach her will take her far in life!
March 31st, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I actually love their parenting skills. And since i’ve been to the casino i have recruited all of my fellow 18 year old friends to go and blow their money.
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Joe - What’s up with you? You sound jealous that no one takes you out for your Birthday… Get a life.
Nice job parents… .and High School Senior! Don’t we wish more parents would spend time with the kids!