Sticks of Fire: a Tampa blog

Football goes screwball in 1920s-set romantic comedy

Leatherheads: The idea and the ads are promising indeed.

In the mid-1920s, professional football was little more than a mud-caked joke, with sparse crowds and renegade players. I’m laughing already. Add George Clooney as an aging athlete, John Krasinski as a collegiate gridiron stud and Renee Zellweger as the cutie-pie reporter they both admire and it sounds like a cinch. Well, not so fast.

Sure, the trailer has a few good gags, but the rest of the movie seems to have a hard time sustaining that comic feel. Clooney, who also directed, obviously intends to emulate the classic screwball comedies of the ’30s, but writers Duncan Bradley and Rick Reilly can’t keep up that kind of pace, and we’re left with strained little quarrels and lackluster game sequences to fill the gaps.

Randy Newman’s ragtime score is a winner, and sporadic laughs are easily evident, but this effort is neither a grand romantic comedy nor a satisfying sports spoof.

We give it a C+

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It’s “Life,” but not as we know it.

Married Life: Chris Cooper and Pierce Brosnan star as best buds who fall for same hot young war widow (Rachel McAdams) in this richly detailed romantic drama set in 1949. Cooper’s character is a successful executive whose fondness for the young lady is complicated by his long, dull marriage. Patricia Clarkson plays the dutiful, frustrated spouse in a film that wavers from black comedy to melodramatic suspense. Brosnan’s bachelor character is almost as unlikeable as his repressed, selfish pal. I say “almost” because at least he doesn’t contemplate murder as an escape route.

The film scores strong points for style — I love those postwar cars and clothes — and its virtuoso cast. But director Ira Sachs can’t decide if he’s making a modern noir or a teaching a moral lesson, and the final result is less than satisfying.

We give it a B-.

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Hard to tell cops from crooks among these “Kings”

Street Kings

Been craving a Keanu Reeves fix lately? Well, Mr. Personality is back in action with Street Kings, a rock-’em sock-’em cop-crime thriller that relies on gunplay and bloodletting to distract us from an absurdly cynical story. Co-written by James Ellroy of “L.A. Confidential” fame, this LA story lacks the savvy bite and observant dialogue of its predecessor. Instead, we get multiple murders and a never-ending game of Who Do You Trust.

Reeves plays a recently widowed LAPD detective whose sullen arrogance is tested sorely when he finds himself set up as a suspect in a cop-killing. It’s a complicated mess, and I spoil nothing by telling you that there’s corruption in the ranks and at pretty much every level. Forest Whitaker and Hugh Laurie play key authority figures, neither of whom seems to believe our man Keanu’s innocence. Innocence is a relative term here, and consistency isn’t part of the equation. Director David Ayer is all about suspense and action, logic be damned.

We are pleased to report, however, that none of these tough guys smokes cigarettes. Welcome to the newly correct Hollywood, where murderers have to set a good health example for kids.

The movie gets a C.

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Iraq veterans see more conflict after first tours are over.

Stop-Loss: The public hasn’t been swarming to see Iraq-war themed dramas, so it’s doubtful that director Kimberly Peirce (”Boys Don’t Cry”) is going to break that pattern with “Stop-Loss.” That’s a shame, because this intense, intimate small-town saga will hit home for anyone who knows a casualty, veteran or relative of this five-year-old conflict.

Ryan Philippe (Flags of Our Fathers, Breach) is stellar as a platoon leader who survives a harrowing, deadly skirmish just before his tour of duty ends and he returns to his tiny Texas hometown.

The film’s opening act depicts the traumatic ambush and its painful aftermath. Then comes another kick in the gut: The Army’s “stop-loss” policy means soldiers can be sent back to Iraq even after their contracted service is over. Channing Tatum and Joseph Gordon-Levitt match Philippe’s emotional levels as fellow veterans, each traumatized and conflicted in his own way.

While the filmmaker clearly despises the stop-loss policy and the effects of post-traumatic stress, she doesn’t turn the film into an antiwar or anti-government diatribe. This is a more personal, passionate and thoughtful effort than that. We give it a B.

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10,000 B.C.
Directed by Roland Emmerich
Starring Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis
Rated PG-13 (violence) 110 minutes
Critic’s rating: C-

It’s tough to take cavemen seriously. In media, at least, prehistoric humans tend to come off as buffoons (Ringo Starr in “Caveman”), anachronisms (the Geico TV commercial guys) or expressionless bores (Daryl Hannah in “Clan of the Cave Bear”). Either way, the results are laughable if not always pleasant.

This week, the laugh is on filmmaker Roland Emmerich. Never known for directorial subtlety (see “Independence Day,” “Godzilla” or “The Day After Tomorrow”), Emmerich grinds primitive tribalism into soggy muck with “10,000 B.C.,” an aimless adventure that blunders between tedious treks and accidental hilarity. I mean, who knew that Europe’s earliest inhabitants had to dodge, among other perils, gigantic birdlike predators? What was that CGI critter, a Turkeysaurus?

Well, it’s not supposed to be scientific. Neither an evolutionist nor a creationist could buy into this solemn yet silly story about a dreadlocked dude (Steven Strait) whose brethren mock him because his father abandoned the tribe many years earlier. But when he more-or-less accidentally kills a woolly mammoth — in a vivid display of computer-generated hairiness and hugeness — he becomes a hero and gets to claim the prettiest, bluest-eyed babe in northern Europe (Camilla Belle).

This little triumph is short-lived, of course. Fierce invaders — called “four-legged demons” because they ride horses — conquer the hunting village and haul the residents toward lives of slavery.

Of course, that’s the kickoff for a dreary trek enlivened by occasional action sequences. The plot approximates the path of Mel Gibson’s under-appreciated jungle thriller “Apocalypto,” in which a young warrior also had to prove himself by using wits, luck and a bit of mystic magic to effect a miraculous rescue. The differences between the two movies are telling. Gibson’s tribesmen spoke an ancient tongue. Emmerich’s characters speak English — except for the villainous raiders, who speak subtitled Ice Age gibberish. And, more importantly, Gibson didn’t water down his narrative with long-winded metaphoric expositions. Omar Sharif reads the ponderous narration, its self-importance maddeningly inflated by an even more heavy-handed score.

As if to match the sprawling landscapes and blunt storytelling, the human cast members seemed determined to come off as equally wooden. Americans Strait and Belle kept their game faces on during filming in New Zealand. Kiwi star Cliff Curtis, who plays the hero’s courageous mentor, is the movie’s most notable player — the one who finds the dash of real emotion buried within a cliche-bound script.

The film’s most glaring oddities, strangely enough, are not the crazy animals. The saber-tooth tiger in the ads makes a brief but satisfying appearance. He seems downright logical compared to the geography of this overlong pursuit. Somehow, the good guys chase the kidnappers from what looks like Scandinavia to what is obviously the ancient Egyptian empire. It’s a massive CGI construction, one of the film’s visual highlights. But again, the bedraggled humans have a hard time making us care whether they can save their clan from permanent pyramid duty.

“10,000 B.C.” scatters just enough action and effects along its path to keep an audience awake, but there’s nothing new here that demands keen attention.

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Your local movie critic has been vacationing and otherwise slacking off for a few weeks. He promises to be more dutiful as we approach awards season and the new year.

Let’s start with a heavily hyped Will Smith vehicle called “I Am Legend” (PG-13; 95 minutes)

Will Smith is a major star. He’s huge. He has to be to carry his latest movie — all but unassisted — on his impressively buffed-up shoulders.

Smith tries to accomplish what Tom Hanks did in “Cast Away,” except instead of being marooned on a tropical island, he’s stuck on the ultimate urban island, Manhattan. With only a German shepherd for companionship and a classy Mustang for transport, Smith’s character spends his days foraging and fretting over lost loved ones. The nights are when the story turns toward horror: That’s when vicious mutant zombies roam the otherwise empty streets.

“I Am Legend” is the third American feature based on Richard Matheson’s 1950s novel, but the first to wear its title. Neither Vincent Price (”The Last Man on Earth”) nor Charlton Heston (”The Omega Man”) has Smith’s charisma or energy in the role of a scientist who finds himself the apparent sole survivor of a nasty viral plague. The new film is the best of the lot for two reasons: Smith’s exhausting performance and the effects crew’s spectacular cityscapes.

Sure, the CGI creatures are gruesome fun, but we’ve seen that stuff before, most recently in “28 Days Later” and the latest “Dawn of the Dead” remakes and sequels. What knocked me out were the shots of familiar New York landmarks — particularly Times Square and Washington Square — overgrown with weeds and crumbling in disrepair.

But this is Smith’s show, and he never lets up. Whether brooding over mankind’s awful fate or springing into danger-defying action, he proves himself one of the few Hollywood luminaries who can sustain a stunted plot over a feature-length span.

Unfortunately, “I Am Legend” is so thin on story content that it seems longer than its actual 95 minutes. Director Francis Lawrence (”Constantine”) comes from the music-video universe, so the visual elements are pleasing enough even when nothing’s happening. But this story, with the original author’s social commentary pared down to minor inferences, belongs on, say, a single “Twilight Zone” TV episode.

Still, there are a couple of surprises worth awaiting — although I would not include the intellectually mushy finale among them.

Neither fully satisfying allegory nor crowd-pleasing horror thriller, “I Am Legend” will owe whatever success it has to Smith’s star power.

We give it a C+

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Sharkwater — Rob Stewart devotes himself to studying, swimming with and explaining the world’s sharks. He’s also a gifted filmmaker, with a keen eye for underwater beauty and a nose for corruption. That’s how this astonishing documentary turns into a thriller on the high seas, as Stewart stumbles upon a Costa Rican shark-poaching operation run by Asian gangsters.

You might be surprised to learn that sharks avoid humans more desperately than we avoid them. Indeed, greedy fishermen are destroying the world’s shark population to satisfy the demand for shark fin soup. These amazing fish — vital to the ocean’s ecosystem — are caught, maimed (their dorsal fins are worth a lot on the black market) and tossed back to die slowly.

Sharkwater is a personal nonfiction film of the highest order — it’s gorgeous to look at while it creates a powerful awareness.

A-

The Heartbreak Kid — We hate it when Hollywood hacks uproot a classic comedy and turn it into disposable mush. It happened with “The In-Laws” and now we get this obnoxious update of the 1972 favorite. Although each film is a farcical look at a real jerk — a guy who falls in love with another woman while on his honeymoon — the differences are devastating. On the one hand, you have Neil Simon (who still gets screenplay credit that I’m betting he would rather not have). On the modern end, you get the Farrelly brothers.

You know the Farrellys. Dumb and Dumber. Stuck on You. Lowbrow, gross-out, profane and modern. This time, Peter and Bobby rejoin their “Something About Mary” star Ben Stiller for a string of embarrassing foul-ups and predicaments. That’s Stiller’s specialty, and he can get a laugh with his shabby missteps. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer Neil Simon’s wordplay and character development to the Farrellys’ bodily-function humor. On the other hand, if you’ve always wanted to see a girl with a private piercing urinate on the skin of a jellyfish sting victim, then this one’s for you.

C-

The Jane Austen Book Club — The title tells you the truth: This is indeed a literate chick flick. It’s an ensemble piece for women who read, and for men who appreciate the nuances of Austen’s novels. The author’s wit and observations hold up 200 years later. Even better, writer-director Robin Swicord has adapted Karen Joy Fowler’s book into a fairly brisk study of assorted modern relationships.

The plot is simple enough. Six Californians form a club that meets monthly to discuss an Austen title. That means we get six months (i.e., chapters) for the main stories to develop. Five of the members are female, the sixth being a bachelor bicyclist (Hugh Dancy) who’s dreamy enough to be a present-day Mr. Darcy himself. The women are played by Maria Bello, Emily Blunt, Amy Brenneman, Kathy Baker and Maggie Grace. Each has issues, all are sympathetic and easy to watch.

Come on, guys. Give your date a break from blood and guts one time. It won’t hurt a bit.

B

The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising — So you miss Harry Potter already and you’re tired of waiting for a Narnia sequel? Well, this kiddie fantasy-adventure will give you a watered-down fix that might hold you a while. It’s about a 14-year-old boy who is apparently the sole heir of some mystic power that can save humanity from evil forces. You know, the usual stuff — shape-shifting creatures, billowing clouds, massive swarms of black birds and unscrupulous villains with magic powers of their own.

The effects are unobtrusive, the actors competent and the story predictably busy. Alexander Ludwig plays the young hero, with Ian McShane and Frances Conroy as the leaders of the good-guy faction that faces doom from a nasty wizard called The Rider (Christopher Eccleston). The plot involves six enchanted objects, scattered through time, that must be collected before the bad guys can wreck the Earth. Time Bandits was more fun.

Still, the action is suitable for youngsters (it’s rated PG), so don’t expect anything on the intensity level of Lord of the Rings. This is mild stuff meant for kids. And if it catches on there will be sequels. But we wouldn’t bet on it.

B-

The Kite Runner (opens Oct. 19) — Set partly in the U.S. but mainly in Afghanistan, this story of friendship and family features unknown actors in sharply realized performances. Director Marc Forster (”Finding Neverland”) takes us into the life and culture of Afghanistan in this drama, based on a best-seller, about a writer in San Francisco who recalls his youth in Kabul and returns there on a mission to help his childhood buddy.

Beautifully photographed (with China subbing for the Afghani locations) by Roberto Schaefer, this stirring tale truly transports us to a land that defies our expectations.

B+

In the Shadow of the Moon — An eloquent, surprisingly moving documentary about the men who walked on the moon. Told in smartly edited blends of close-up interview footage and clips from news archives and actual Apollo missions. It’s a simple as it sounds, but you’ll be impressed with how it holds you rapt as these aging astronauts share memories that no other humans can share. Oddest point: Neil Armstrong declined to participate. The other guys cover for him nicely.

B+

We Own the Night (opens Oct. 12) — The title is the motto of an NYPD violent crime unit, and the film delivers brutal action in the context of family conflict. Writer-director James Gray rejoins his co-stars from “The Yards,” Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix. This time, the actors portray brothers on opposite sides of the law. Wahlberg is the “good” son, a police lieutenant following the path of his much-admired father, the chief (Robert Duvall, always a treat even in a familiar role). Phoenix plays the other son, a nightclub manager whose clientele includes some extremely disreputable characters. The clashes here are violent — physically and emotionally — and the story is set in 1988, when drug dealers threatened to overrun the city.

The characters seem conventional here, but the three stars make them fun to watch even as we notice plot holes, anachronisms and stale twists. Think of it as an unusually sensitive crime thriller.

B-

Gone Baby Gone (opens Oct. 19) — Yes, Ben Affleck can direct. The much-derided actor and Oscar-sharing screenwriter (with Matt Damon, remember?) makes an impressive debut behind the camera with this crime thriller that goes in directions we won’t even hint at. It would spoil the kick in this twisted tale about a novice detective (younger brother Casey Affleck, showing surprising new depths) and the kidnapping of a 4-year-old girl.

It’s based on a novel by Dennis Lehane, who sets it among the blunt, blue-collar Bostonians who also inhabited his “Mystic River” script. This time, a distraught aunt and uncle hire the young private eye because the police unit on the case (Morgan Freeman plays their leader) isn’t getting results.

It’s best not to know too much more before seeing the movie. Just be aware that morality has at least two sides this time around. Director Affleck, who shares writing credit, keeps the dialogue moving almost as fast as the chases and surprises. It’s not as memorable as “The Departed,” but it brings a similar Boston accent and rapid-fire convolution to the police-procedural genre.

B+

This time of year used to be full of tripe and leftovers — the stuff that’s too tame for summer box-office and too lame for year-end awards.

Not this season. We screened seven flicks this week, and the results were pleasantly surprising.

Here’s a quick rundown:

The Brave One — Jodie Foster, Terrence Howard. Director NeiI Jordan unleashes an updated Death Wish, with Foster as a radio talker who responds to a devastating criminal attack by buying a gun and offing thugs. Howard is the cop who suspects and respects her. Powerful action and tension overcome a predictable, manipulative script. Besides, we like Jodie Foster, even when she’s riffing on Charles Bronson. B-

Eastern Promises — Director David Cronenberg and star Viggo Mortensen continue what they started with A History of Violence. This time, the crime saga is set among Russian mobsters in New York. Naomi Watts plays a midwife who enters that dark, dangerous world when she tries to find the father of an infant rescued from its freshly murdered mother. Armin Mueller-Stahl is also terrific as a grandfatherly gang boss. One of the year’s best thrillers, but not for the squeamish. There’s a lot of blood, and Mortensen’s hand-to-hand fight for his life in a steam bath is a scene not to be forgotten. A-

In the Valley of Elah — Writer-director Paul Haggis (”Crash”) delivers a compelling mystery starring Tommy Lee Jones as a retired MP determined to find out how and why his son died soon after returning from combat in Iraq. The detective angle is superbly constructed, and Haggis adds elements that make us wonder about the effects of prolonged battle duty on otherwise wholesome young men. Harrowing stuff, with an award-worthy performance by Jones. Charlize Theron is also excellent as a local cop who breaks the rules to help him. B+

Sydney White — At 21, Amanda Bynes is becoming one of the top young actresses around. In this cleverly updated “Snow White” spinoff, she plays a normal gal whose arrival at college is marred by a mean-spirited wicked witch of a sorority president (Sara Paxton). Our heroine finds refuge in a dilapidated house occupied by seven dorks. (Seven dorks, get it?) Fairy-tale conventions merge neatly into a revenge-of-the-nerds plot, with plenty of witty lines and feel-good twists. A surprsingly neat treat. B

Across the Universe — Director Julie Taymor assembled this ’60s romance, in which the characters sing (or perhaps butcher) Beatle songs to express themselves as they learn about antiwar protests, psychedelia and love, love, love. Young unknowns (except Bono and Eddie Izzard in cameos) croon the tunes in way that would embarrass professional singers and make old Beatlemaniacs cringe. Some of the visuals are interesting, but overall I’d rather watch that godawful “Sgt. Pepper” with Peter Frampton and the BeeGees. C-

The Hunting Party — Richard Gere and Terrence Howard star as iconoclastic war correspondents on the trail of a Serbian war criminal. Gere is superb as the rule-breaking rogue and Howard matches him as the cameraman with common sense outweighed by his sense of friendship and adventure. Fun and war games from writer-director Richard Shepherd. B

The King of Kong — Fascinating documentary about the geeks who devote their lives to vintage video games, particularly Donky Kong. The players might be hopeless nerds, but the competition is fierce and not always fair. An eye-opening peek into a pathetic subculture. B+

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