Sticks of Fire: a Tampa blog

The Grapefruit Gal and I were fortunate to attend the Rays’ home opener against the Mariners last week from field-level seats, and as announced back in February, recent Bucs retiree Mike Alstott threw out the first pitch. Curiously, he was joined by an unannounced guest: Governor Charlie Crist, who also threw out the first pitch at last year’s home opener.

Certainly I’m not arguing the Gov was stealing the spotlight from one of Tampa Bay’s most popular athletes, especially being one of St. Pete’s native sons, but I noticed a peculiarity in the Rays’ treatment of their two guests that really stood out.

The Rays traditionally supply the honored first-pitch guest with a customized uniform featuring their name and some kind of relevant number. For Alstott, that meant his instantly-recognizable #40. Rays slugger Jonny Gomes caught for Alstott, and honored the tough-nosed running back by wearing an Alstott Bucs jersey. Yet the Rays skimped on Alstott’s jersey, giving him a cheap “replica” Rays shirt instead of the more expensive “authentic” ones like the players on the field wear. Note the lack of a ray patch on his sleeve and the cheap replica-style letters and numbers on the back.

Meanwhile, check out the jersey the Rays supplied Governor Crist with. It’s a legitimate authentic one, complete with Ray patch and authentic nameplate and numbers.

(Note to the Gov: tucking a jersey into your jeans makes you look like a dork. Plus, it shows off your fish-themed belt, which is also dorky.)

So why did the Governor get to share the spotlight with the A-Train? Why did he get a nicer jersey? I’m sure it has nothing to do with Rays ownership depending on his support for their new waterfront stadium plans. And what’s with his number? 12? I can’t see any immediate significance to the number, unless it’s a clever early promotion for a ‘12 presidential run.

Then again, this picture from last year’s opening day shows Crist sporting a #12 jersey yet again. (And that hideous fish-belt.) So what is it?

(Check out my full Flickr stream from opening day here.)

Some of you know I send out a holiday CD every year featuring goofy songs I write. This year’s CD, which is en route around the world and most certainly will not arrive by Christmas, features a track I wrote just for all of you fans of the Sticks. Longtime readers will find all kinds of fun treasures amidst my lame attempt at rapping (and yeah, Tommy, I know you wanted to be a part, but I haven’t been able to leave my house in a few weeks due to working on holiday stuff). All apologies to Run-D.M.C. for ripping their groove.

So, folks, here we go. Share with anyone you like. And happy holidays.

Christmas In Pinellas (2:42)

• lyrics
• mp3
• m4a

I arrived at work early Tuesday morning to give a final, and found the CIS building covered in chalk and window paint. Most of the graffiti consisted of crude drawings of the AOL Instant Messenger “yellow man” mascot and cryptic references to web sites that either don’t exist, or appear to have no connection whatsoever to USF. The statements took, for the most part, the form of AIM “away messages.”

The most intriguing references were to a “Dr. Liu,” always in the form of the phrase “Dr. Liu what? Change your major!” (There are numerous Dr. Lius who work at USF, so which one they might be referring to is beyond me.) There were also several references to a “Coby” who may or may not be found at Peabody’s in Tampa Palms.

The culprits even managed to climb up the side of the building, marking many of the windows facing the library parking lot. The whole scene reminded me of the Toynbee Tile phenomenon.

So what is it, folks? A promo group hired by Peabody’s? The work of the mysterious “Coby”? A student disgruntled with his/her advisor, Dr. Liu? Gallery of pics below, click to see the full size.

Donna Callaway is a member of the Florida Board of Education. She’s a former teacher and principal in Tallahassee, and a (presumably) proud FSU alumna.

She’s also anti-evolution, as she explains in the Florida Baptist Witness:

I firmly believe that a child can deal with the proof of science along with a personal belief in God as the Creator of the universe at the same time. The classroom should allow him, openly, that opportunity.

It’s neither here nor there that members of our state education board are commenting to Florida Baptist Witness, or that they have religious beliefs. We all do (the belief of absence is not the absence of belief). What’s great is the comment thread of the St. Pete Times blog entry about Callaway, which is comedy gold:

Evolution has not been proven and believe me I did not come from a monkey.

Gravity is a lie sent by Satan to fool us.

Religion should be taught in the classroom - of medical schools - and as a mild form of mental disease.

The thing that children need in this world is prayer, and for the children whose parents do not go to church school may be the only place for them to learn about religion.

Why are so many Southern Christians ashamed to admit they came from monkeys? I’ve been to the Cracker Barrel on Sunday, and trust me, the zoo is a lot more civilized.

Like I said, comedy gold. There’s hundreds of comments, go read and participate. BTW, the blog post was featured on Fark too (the comments are way less funny, which is a first).

It’s been a busy couple weeks around here, what with my roommate Jennifer getting engaged, other friends getting married, Devil Rays news, and what have you. This past weekend alone was a fine vignette of episodes that make you kind of appreciate how nice it can be to live here sometimes.

It all started with the phenomenal support Thursday for the Rays’ uniform/branding unveiling which was, to use an accurate and inescapable cliché, fun for the whole family. (See my photo gallery here or check out their promo video and the arrival of the “new” Raymond mascot.) I didn’t stick around for the Kevin Costner concert, but it seemed that most of the 7,000+ attendees were there for some hard-rockin’ action. Yet I was impressed by how many of the Rays took time off from their offseason to come by and model for the fans — and don’t get me started on the news leaked the next day about a new stadium.

Saturday brought the wedding of my friends Brian and Melissa; the ceremony was lovely, and the folks at Maggiano’s surprised me with their attention to detail (i.e. drinks) and terrific food — confirming for me that restaurants can beat caterers at their own game. Things didn’t go so smoothly at the Tampa Doubletree, where no fewer than three of my friends were given rooms (and keys to them) that were already occupied. I’m pretty sure that’s about the worst thing you can do when running a hotel. Personally, I don’t mind if someone barges in on me while I’m in my skivs watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann but I understand that upsets some people.

Sunday, though, was a treat, as I was finally able to catch the curtain-closer of Jobsite Theater’s Gorey Stories. The Grapefruit Gal looked at the program and said scornfully, “You brought me to a musical?” Yet her skepticism was quickly dispersed by David Jenkins’ wonderfully-directed cornucopia of the macabre, and I found it quite unlike anything I would consider boring. The G-Gal liked the costumes, the makeup, and the set design, and I liked Katrina Stevenson’s legs. It was a winner all around!

We topped it off with a visit to my local pizzeria, the Clearwater Country Pizza Inn; I was as skeptical about a Greek-Italian joint as I was about Giorgio de Chirico (Rene Magritte, please) but the quad-cheese pizza is pretty good and the baklava is a great deal at only $2.50.

I know I’ve had my criticisms for aspects of Bay life, but sometimes a fairly mundane weekend can remind you of the little things that give us advantages over, well, places where I’ve lived before. Like Ohio.

Despite being a lifelong hockey fan (Red Wings until 2003, then Lightning upon scheduling my move down here) I’d never attended a hockey game until two weeks ago, when a trip to the Forum (part of a bachelor party of which I won’t share further details) for a game against Atlanta showed me what I already knew: live hockey is exciting, entertaining, and LOUD. Even against the lowly Thrashers, the St. Pete Times Forum was packed and rocking — I had a great time. (Skip the Five Guys booth. The burgers aren’t worthy of the name.)

Imagine my surprise, then, to see on the front page of Yahoo.com an article about the death of “Hockeytown, USA,” self-glossed sports nickname of Detroit. The essay, written by Pro Hockey Writers Association chapter chairman Ross McKeon of Yahoo.com Sports, reveals its writer as being suspiciously uninformed about the sport of which he pledges to be an expert.

Mckeon highlights the decline in attendance at Detroit Red Wings games and claims that Detroit is “no longer Hockeytown, USA.” He then presents arguments for why other cities are worthy of the title — and how others can’t maintain a local hockey interest. The problem, of course, is that his criteria are entirely arbitrary (despite his initial argument being predicated on home attendance). He categorizes each team’s support, among the noteworthy:

“Pretty darn good, in their own way”: Dallas, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, San Jose
“Nice try, but this doesn’t really work”: Tampa Bay

Let’s look at average attendance figures from the past three years, shall we?

2005-2006

Tampa Bay: 20,509 (103.8% capacity)
Dallas: 17,828 (96.2%)
San Jose: 16,831 (96.2%)
Pittsburgh: 15,804 (93.2%)
St. Louis: 14,213 (74.7%)

2006-2007

Tampa Bay: 19,876 (100.6%)
Dallas: 17,914 (96.7%)
San Jose: 17,422 (99.6%)
Pittsburgh: 16,424 (96.9%)
St. Louis: 12,520 (59.6% — last in the NHL)

2007-2008

Tampa Bay: 19,172 (97%)
San Jose: 17,496 (100%)
St. Louis: 17,492 (83.3%)
Dallas: 17,193 (92.8%)
Pittsburgh: 17,058 (100.6%)

As you can see, hockey clearly doesn’t work in Tampa. Feel free to provide Ross some feedback on his misguided assertions.

This entry also appears in a slightly different form at Journeys of Jack Tripper.

If you don’t already have tickets to Friday’s USF vs. WVU game at Raymond James, you’re probably out of luck and will be watching the 8:00 p.m. game on ESPN2.

Ticketmaster was reporting all tickets sold by noon Monday, though USF claims a handful of tickets will be made available soon. I myself got up at 6 a.m. to get to campus in time to pick up my student ticket and two for my companions — the Grapefruit Gal and a friend from my undergrad days who is flying down from West Virginia. A scant few student tickets are being withheld for distribution on USF’s satellite campuses.

USF students camped out overnight in order to ensure they’d get a ticket, with Coach Jim Leavitt stopping by to thank them for the support.

The game will set several records with its sellout: an overall attendance record for a USF home game, a season attendance record for the Big East (as we have the largest stadium in the conference, a sellout by de facto sets the record), and a record for largest student section in the NBE at 12,501. That’s not a random number, btw: the usual student section of 8,000 was expanded by 4,001 to both accommodate student interest and beat WVU’s student section of 12,500.

Yet beating WVU’s student section isn’t what’s on the mind of the USF team; I spoke this morning with a former student and current Bull, who said the team is focused and healthy after this past Saturday’s routing of North Carolina at RayJay.

Did I mention there’s a free concert before the game? Oh, yes, there is a free concert before the game. It features the Shop Boyz, whom I’ve written about before as being an exemplar of the downfall of rap. But that’s something else entirely, I suppose.

My birthday just passed (don’t ask which one), and the Grapefruit Gal and I decided to celebrate it by supporting Jobsite Theater at their annual Jobsite Rocks event this past Saturday.

It’s not hyperbole to say that Jobsite is probably my favorite aspect of living in the Tampa Bay area. I discovered them through this Sticks post more than two years ago, and after winning tickets with a bizarre poem. I met Tommy at the show I attended, fell in love with Jobsite, and have since made some pretty nifty friends.

Jobsite Rocks always presents some kick-ass bands, and this year’s edition was no letdown as DJ Scott Imrich, The Vodkanauts, and Poetry N’ Lotion all rocked the house, with special guests taking the stage (including Artistic Director David Jenkins, who melted everyone’s faces off in a spot-on Ozzy Osbourne take). Tommy and Wifey even made an appearance, and though I once again failed to win any raffle prizes, the Grapefruit Gal and I went home having been entertained and with the warm feeling that we helped support my favorite thing about living here.

…but that’s not all, as we have to congratulate Jobsite on repeating as Creative Loafing’s Best of the Bay top local theatre company. Their words are better than mine:

In a little less than 10 years, Jobsite has become the closest thing to a top Off-Broadway theater that the Bay area has to offer. [...] While the productions put on by other local theaters last season were hit-and-miss, Jobsite shows were consistently first-rate. If you believed in theater as an art form, if you looked to stage plays to provide you not just with entertainment but with illumination, Jobsite had to be your destination. Bay area culture wouldn’t be the same without it.

My votes for best actor (Steve Garland for The Pillowman) and actress (Ami Sallee Corley in Woman In Mind) also got the nod from CL’s critics, as did the multi-talented Katrina Stevenson for best costume designer.

Congratulations to everyone at Jobsite for completing another banner season and earning these well-deserved awards.