Sticks of Fire: a Tampa blog

I actually really love Tampa and Florida; I just abhor some of the things people do here to destroy what’s left of our natural resources and make us all look like a bunch of carpetbaggers (Jeb! Bush), swampwater yahoos (Rhonda Storms and Brian Blair), and bilious scalawags (Buddy Johnson).

But there are plenty of political opinions out there far more informed than mine, and I do want to start out on a positive note if it’s not too late. So I’ll tell you about a faboo new restaurant that has been open only eight weeks and is already on my list of favorite places to hang out, especially in North Tampa. The Toasted Pheasant dwells in a nondescript strip mall at 14445 North Dale Mabry, but what’s going on inside is truly special. The freshly prepared food is exceptional, the wine list interesting and affordable, and the service is friendly and unpretentious. You’re going to be hearing a lot more about this place soon. The Weekly Planet has already reviewed it and the owner told me the SP Times reviewer has also called a few times to ask questions, so get in there and enjoy before it’s mobbed by bored South Tampa yuppies slumming north of Kennedy. (Damn, I am acerbic, even when I’m being positive.)

Okay, now for my cranky side. Have you been to Apollo Beach lately? Developers have been busily building new ghettos down there. It looks like one big public housing project down there with miles and miles of cookie-cutter, cheesy faux Seaside-style buildings and ugly, sterile, bauhaus-looking condos, at least half of which are unfinished and even more of which sport for sale signs. And best of all, that glorious view of the pollution-spewing smokestacks of Big Bend power plant. Who would want to live there?

No, really, I’m asking. Do you live there? If so, why?

When’s the last time you took a leisurely drive down Bayshore Boulevard and ate at the Colonnade Restaurant?

It’s been said that people often see less of the attractions in their own home town than tourists do. I know - it’s hard to think of just driving down a street with beautiful houses and stopping at an area restaurant in your own home town as an “attraction” - but try this sometime on a Saturday or Sunday evening just before sunset. When the need for a vacation crops up but isn’t possible, this will help.

Or, maybe you live on the Clearwater/St. Pete side and don’t know about this.

Head south on Bayshore starting from downtown Tampa. On your right are blocks full of spectacular, sprawling houses ranging in design from Victorian to 1960’s ranch-style homes. Drink in the rainbow range of colors, textures and landscaping (the only unfortunate thing is the skyscraping condos going up inbetween. Try to ignore them!).

To the left is one of the longest walking and jogging paths in the United States, and beyond that the gorgeous waterfront view looking back at downtown, with its pink and smoked glass buildings glistening in the late afternoon sun.

Securing the path from the waterfront is an elegant white stone architectural wall, about waist-high so as not to block the sightseeing. For Civil War tourism buffs, it’s all very reminiscent of Battery Row in Charleston, South Carolina, with its antebellum mansions strategically placed to overlook the water as the ships would come in. 

Just when it seems this mini-tour is coming to an end, you’ll spot a rustic looking restaurant on the right called The Colonnade. PULL IN! You are in for a treat. Mentioned briefly in a 2007 Sticks column by Judy Hill, the Colonnade Restaurant has been a Tampa mainstay for the last 70 years, yet seems to remain a secret from many residents who don’t live in that particular area of Tampa.

The Colonnade boasts fresh seafood daily and another unbeatable waterfront view from almost anywhere you sit, although the window tables are to die for. And if you arrive there by 5:00, it’s a good bet you’ll get one. Sitting here, you can almost imagine being on someone’s yacht 10 miles offshore in the Gulf. In fact, you may see some skimming by. When it’s a clear day, the sun shimmers on the water like diamonds.

If there’s a wait for a table, go into the long hallway leading to the seating and look at the pictures of Bayshore Boulevard’s historical past.

Be very hungry or plan on taking boxes home! A favorite special of mine, often featured on the Colonnade menu, is the unique almond and corn flake-coated grouper with outstanding coleslaw. But on a regular basis you can get fried catfish that doesn’t taste like catfish anywhere else. The batter recipe is unique to this establishment, and the fish is smooth and mouth-watering. To me, the sign of a good piece of cooked fish is whether the leftovers warm up well the next day, and this certainly does. Try the fried green tomatoes as an appetizer or side.

The best part is that many of the Colonnade’s entrees are very reasonably priced, almost at rollback prices, and still served with a salad at no extra cost – a practice many restaurants are now charging for. And the service is excellent, too.

Before leaving the parking lot, grab that camera you keep in the glove compartment for impromptu shots, and stand your party against the walkway railing with the city and the water in the background. It’s a keeper. 

Haven’t had enough? Drive back toward downtown and you are 8 minutes from Channelside Bay Plaza, one of Tampa’s latest rejuvenation projects. Have a coffee and dessert, stroll the shops and boutiques,  listen to music outdoors and scope out a restaurant for next weekend’s dinner. 

Or, head the other direction and check out coffee in the South Howard area now known as Tampa’s own “SoHo“. 

You’ll go home wanting to start a vacation scrapbook.

Awhile back, a PR rep for a major chain began to email me. She would send me recipes and ask for me to try them out. I would just kind-of look them over and quickly move them to my recipe box (I get a lot of recipes).
I finally emailed her back and asked (in a very polite manner) what was she trying to get out of all the recipe emails.

She responded:

“Sure…we recently began doing some digital monitoring to identify local foodies with blogs who often post recipes, reviews, etc, so we can send them some of the recipes we often send out to the media. We thought this would be a great way to reach real people and engage them with the brand, especially since we give away our recipes quite frequently….We believe in complete transparency – we hope that those foodies…will share their honest opinions – good, bad, anything! That way, we can learn about real perceptions and improve our company!”

Wait, a chain restaurant that is taking a proactive approach to bettering themselves by throwing themselves to the wolves (true foodies don’t do chains)? I’m intrigued.

I was honest with her. “I don’t do chains, sorry, but thank you.”

Next thing I know, there’s a Bahama Breeze gift card in my mailbox with a hand written note from the PR rep.

“Enjoy and let us know what you think.”

I sat there, head half tilted with a look of disbelief on my face. “Well, that was nice.” I thought. Fast forward.

After a menu-consulting meeting with a potentially new client (good vibes people, give me good vibes), Chef Hubby and I headed back home.

“Let’s get some lunch.” I said
“Okay, where would you like to go?” he responded
“Bahama Breeze.”

He nearly drove off the road.

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I guess it started with Hooters. Then, along came Knockers, Melons, and Mugs ‘n Jugs to copy the idea, even down to their names using a double entendre for women’s breasts. And we can’t forget about Bazooka’s, and you may as well throw in the Twin Peaks Restaurant (A Great Menu with a View!).

Ker’s Wing House followed the formula so closely they were sued, but at least they have no obvious reference in the name.

Since the breastaurant theme works at wing & beer joints, it is now being expanded into other industries. Barista Babes, for instance. Owners of this new place say they are the same as Hooters, except just selling coffee. But I think the trend may have gone too far.

There is a newly-opened Irish Bar & Grill over in Clearwater. They too have the good looking waitstaff, with outfits that emphasize the chest. The problem I have is with the name of the place.

Sure, they could have gone with something like MacBiggun’s, or perhaps Bevvies & Knobs, or maybe Boozer McDiddies. Jookers would be a choice, too, as would Jars & Jellies or even Kelly McDollies, but it seems they just didn’t want to be so subtle. Nope… If you want to visit the Irish Pub in Clearwater with the well-endowed waitresses, you will actually have to say “Hey, let’s go on over to

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Big Apple Style Deli Rocks It In Carrollwood

There is nothing like a good deli sandwich. Piled high with whatever cold cut you want, slathered with condiments, dripping with plump tomatoes and chopped lettuce on good ole fashioned baked bread.

I crave this from time to time.

Tampa isn’t necessarily known for its delis. If you are looking for a Sandwich Shop, there are 1000 Cuban varieties to choose from. But what about those New York style delis. Ya know, where Rye bread sits right next to the sliced corn beef and aged Swiss cheese.

Wait, what’s that? Moxie’s, Moxie’s 2, Too Jay’s, and Carrollwood Café & Deli are just a hop, skip, and jump over Ray Jay. I’m there.

I’ll not lie. I’ve been going to Moxie’s on Kennedy Ave for a while and as long as you don’t mind waiting forever and possibly being scolded for too many (um, one) menu variations, you’ll have a good experience.

The sandwiches have always been good. Most are served on Cuban bread, which is not my idea of a NY style sandwich. (Yes, I get it, we are in Tampa, land of Cuban bread, but come on already.) Moxie’s will sub that Cuban bread for anything they have in house, but again, be weary of the scolding eyes and tones you will receive.

They offer creative sandwiches infusing Cuban, NY style, and New Orleans homage.

Then there is Moxie’s Two. I used to go to this location off Benjamin frequently. I’d always thought the same people as the Kennedy location owned it.

I think it’s been sold. It was nothing but new faces this time around.

My experience last week was bad. Bad, bad, bad. Yet, the people were very nice and happy to make any substitution I hoped for.

Perhaps, the Moxie’s of Tampa can get together and help each other in their personal deficiencies.

Too Jay’s at International Plaza was also a place I’d hop in from time to time. At first, I thought it was a chain and avoided it like the plague. I then found out it was a chain, but started in Palm Beach and can only be found in Florida. I can forgive a little if they are staying true to their roots. The food was always okay. Traditional New York style deli with 100 different chicken salads and every pastrami you can think of. But, that chain quality does shine through a bit. You can taste the manufactured-ness in the potato salad. If there were nothing else, Too Jay’s would do the trick.

That’s when I discovered Carrollwood Cafe & Deli.

JACKPOT!

Located in a little plaza on Dale Mabry at 11606, right next door to Outback Steakhouse, sits a genuine New York Style deli. Complete with homemade bread and every soda you could imagine.

The menu has everything from pastrami to tuna salad, all with catchy names like Wall Street Reuben and The Power House. I was in heaven.

I ordered the Deli Trio ($6.50), “the classic combination of kosher corned beef, New York pastrami, Swiss cheese piled high on freshly baked Jewish Rye bread.” My Hubby got the Wall Street Reuben ($6.50), “CC&D’s own cooked corned beef, sauerkraut, Swiss cheese, and 1000 island dressing on freshly baked Jewish Rye bread.” We finished the order with a All Natural Sarsaparilla Soda and an All Natural Black Cherry soda.

Can you say Yum!

My Deli Trio was a good 4 inches high and a good 5 inches in length. The corned beef was sliced perfectly (not too thin, not to thick) and super juicy. The pastrami was paper thin and delicious. There was a perfect ratio of corned beef and pastrami. The Swiss was a good aged Big Eye and sliced just think enough to make the back of your taste buds catch the age. Fresh tomatoes and lettuce garnished an already perfect sandwich. The Jewish Rye was the best Rye I have ever had in Florida. It was soft and flavorful. Perfect.

My Hubby’s Wall Street Reuben was equally as huge, if not bigger. He quickly slathered his with Beaver’s True Grain Mustard. There were a few mustards to choose from on every table. From Honey to Grain and all were really good brands not found in Florida. His corned beef was the same as mine, delicious and the sauerkraut had to have been homemade. The thousand island was a good mix of the old staple. This sandwich was worth way more than $6.50.
Made complete with a side of creamy homemade Cole slaw and a dill pickle spear, CC&D’s has been serving up these New York deli favorites for 10 years, right here in Tampa.

All of the people making this little deli run were very friendly. You could tell who the regulars were because their orders were already on the table before they took off their coats.

Go now! Just get up and go to Carrollwood Café & Deli. Forget about work or the kids or whatever menial task you are doing and go. Then, go back tonight and bring the whole family.

Yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of the first game of the USFL. The Tampa Bay Bandits beat the Boston Breakers at Tampa Stadium. To mark the anniversary, the last remaining NFL player who also played in the USFL retired.

Also in 1983, six businessmen in Clearwater Florida opened the first Hooters. To celebrate the 25th anniversary, they are giving away $25,000 on the 25th of every month.

Outback opened their first location on Henderson Blvd. in 1988. This year marks their 20th Bloomin’ Anniversary.

In 1958, another restaurant first opened on S. Dale Mabry. That’s right, it is the 50 year anniversary for Tampa’s first McDonald’s. It was the 86th McDonald’s in the country. The Tampa Tribune’s Kieth Morelli reports that you will get 1958 prices on Saturday between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. A small bag of french fries will cost 10 cents, a 12-ounce drink is 20 cents, and they will offer 15-cent hamburgers and 20-cent cheeseburgers.

Sunday was a glorious Tampa day. The breeze was blowing, the jasmine was blooming, and the temperature was a perfect 74 degrees. To me, there is nothing better than spending as much time outside as possible on such a day. But, wait. What about breakfast?

I’ve not had a lot of breakfast luck as of late. In fact I have almost given up on the entire concept of going out for breakfast, one of my favorite outings. So in a last attempt to revitalize my belief that good breakfast does exist and it doesn’t have to be just bad diner food, I headed out for Pach’s Place.

I’ve heard a lot about Pach’s Place (pronounced Patch’s Place). Some really, really good and some just okay. I had to see for myself.

I was warned there would be a line, so upon my arrival to the almost corner of Bayshore Blvd and Bay To Bay, I wasn’t surprised when I saw the line of people staggering out of the door. That’s always a good sign, in my book.

The concept is that you wait in line until a table is open with the exact number of people you have in your party. It was a little odd for me, when I was sat before the three 105 year olds, but that’s the way it works.

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Chef Robert Irvine was set to open, not one, but two restaurants in St Pete this Spring, Oooze and Schmooze. I think plans are on hold.

I almost spit my coffee out this morning from laughing while reading Ben Montgomery’s story about Robert Irvine’s tendency to enhance his reputation with a generous helping of BS. You just can’t make this stuff up!

“Irvine’s relationships have soured like month-old milk. His Web site consultant claims he owes her thousands. His restaurant designer has backed out. His interior decorator is suing him. ..Another woman, St. Petersburg socialite Wendy LaTorre, says Irvine owes her more than $100,000 for marketing and promotions and for helping him find property.”

Um, does this reek of a torrid love affair or what?

Apparently, Chef Robert Irvine of Food Network fame, is not a Knight, has never cooked at the White House, never attended the University of Leeds, did not make Princess Diana’s wedding cake, is not friends with Prince Charles, and is not as wealthy as he led us to believe.

Damnnnnnnnnnnnn! Humiliation does not even tip on what must be zipping through Irvine’s head right now. I’d be a little more concerned about whether or not Scripps (owner of Food Network) will be canceling my show. Scripps is notorious for demanding their talent be honest and respectful citizens of society at all times. They canned a guy in last season’s Food Network Star for stretching the truth about his departure from the military, a white lie at best.

Times writer, Laura Reiley, posted the official comment from Food Network spokesperson Lisa Del Colle:

“It’s unfortunate if Robert embellished the extent of his culinary experiences. We are investigating the matter and taking the necessary steps to ensure the accuracy of all representations of Robert on Food Network and foodnetwork.com.”

Tudor3522 posted this on Chowhound:

“I had the unfortunate experience of working for “Chef” Irvine…He is, beyond a doubt, the most insecure man I’ve ever met…Other tales of … redoing the plates of Tom Keller, Charlie Trotter, and Eric Rippert at a James Beard event in NYC before they left the kitchen are just too bizarre. Tom Keller would break his arm if he touched his plate!”

Um, Thomas Keller is like the best chef in the WORLD. I’m not kidding, he and Adria Ferran are considered the best chefs in the world. (We root for Keller because he is American, not to mention God.)

Whether or not this story has been fabricated is yet to be seen. It’s pretty obvious the guy has told some tall tales. Does he deserve to lose all credibility, not to mention his career? I guess we will see.

Word to the wise, Irvine: Never, never, never piss off a St Petersburg socialite.

I heard of this little establishment via other Tampa blogs and put it high on my list to eat. Savvy Jacks, a little Parisian influenced Southern food oasis, sits just off Fowler Ave. on 56th street. It’s said to be known for the Parisian couple that owns the joint and their ability to fuse Parisian and American Southern comfort food. Well I have to try that!

I set out one Saturday afternoon with high hopes.

My hopes would not be met.

The décor was A-typical. Country French mixed with St. Pete Beach Mom & Pop. It was 1:30 when I arrived and Savvy Jacks closes at 2 PM, so the place wasn’t packed to the gills. Three other diners sat at oddly uncomfortable tables. Ya know those tables that sit amazing low and are paired with amazingly high chairs, so your thighs have to squeeze under. Hey, once upon a time I was a size 0. Not anymore!

The menu offered American breakfast staples like Biscuits and Gravy and also offered the Parisian staples, omelets, eggs benedict, and crepes. A modest Lunch section offered hot and cold sandwiches and entrees (it is typical in France to eat your biggest meal at Lunch) along with salads and deserts.

I settled on the Ham and Cheese Crepe with mixed vegetables and my Hubby choose the Biscuits and Gravy Platter. Both were nominally priced, I think both were $8 or $9. We patiently waited as we heard one of the other diners pronounce his love for the food. His exact words were “This was the best Breakfast I have ever had.” Being that the man had to be in his late forties, I thought that was an amazing commitment.

Ahhh, finally our dishes arrived. At first, both dishes looked delectably delicious. Quickly, we realized the Gravy for the biscuits was not the traditional American Sausage gravy, but rather a Béchamel sauce. That’s fine. Hell, I’m married to a classically French trained Executive Chef. I’m used to getting new pairings. Not to mention, I love Béchamel. Unfortunately, it was the blandest Béchamel I have ever had in my life. The texture was perfection, but it was like eating air. Where was the onion piqué? No bay leaf. Not even a hint of nutmeg. This was simply flour, butter, and milk. There wasn’t even any pepper. The biscuit was not cook thoroughly, leaving a taste of raw flour behind. The accompaniment, Ham, had been reheated on a flat top. I know this because the grease from the flat top still dripped off the Ham. The potatoes were all right. No seasoning would be found here either. I actually had to use the salt and peppershaker on the table, something I rarely do. They would be good at a greasy spoon diner, but this place?

The Ham and Cheese crepe was just as disappointing. The crepe was nothing special and was filled with shredded cheddar cheese and sliced deli ham that had that familiar flat top grease dripping off of it. Béchamel topped the crepe, again, a tasteless sauce. The mixed vegetables, which were almost Ratatouille, were awful. They had the potential to be very good. It was obvious the vegetables were cubed fresh, but there was NO seasoning and they had been cooked on that greasy flat top. So much that the veggies laid in their puddle of flat top grease.

I kept wondering as I shoveled greasy yellow squash into my mouth and nodded with a smile as the waitress asked how things were going. What the hell did that guy have that made it the best breakfast he’d ever eaten? Perhaps my Mother-in-law had cooked for him the 40 something year’s prior.

This was an extremely disappointing visit. You be the judge.

11401 N 56th St # 22
Tampa, FL 33617
(813) 914-8804