Sticks of Fire: a Tampa blog

Even Plant City bounty hunters have to deal with idiots.

A 17 year old is already skipping bail, wanted on 14 outstanding warrants. Where’s this kid’s parents?

I wonder why school systems can’t find enough bus drivers.

Maybe it’s this.

Mom says her son must deal with the consequences. The bus driver has already dealt with the consequences of her parenting skills. There are no quotes from Dad.

A woman and her five children were walking down the street with bibles. Which would be no cause for concern, except that her God told the woman that they should all be na ked.

Charles Barkley once said:

[An athlete is] not your role model… Parents should be role models.

You can use Dwight Gooden for either side of that argument.

Only 15 days after his son was arrested, Doc got busted too. And to show his son how to be a real man, he’s hiding from the cops.

Say you are driving along with your buddy and a kilo of coke. A really good thing to do is hold up traffic by stopping in the middle of an intersection, in order to attract the cops. And when the cop shows up, you should sit there while he learns of your criminal history. When the cop comes back and asks to search the vehicle, say no, but stick around while the cop calls for backup. Wait just a bit longer for the backup cops to show, and then try to make a run for it.

Along the way, you could call your mom, have her get a gun and a bag of pot, and ask her if she could maybe disrupt the chase. That way your mom can get arrested too.

This story has encouraged me to create a couple new categories (I don’t have enough, you see). Parent of the Year and Smooth Criminals.

Previous stupid criminals include:
The one who left his wallet at the scene, and went back to retrieve it.
The one who fell asleep on a B&E.
The one who sat down for a drink and a smoke.