Sticks of Fire: a Tampa blog

One of TBO’s “Most Viewed” on Wednesday included a story about Largo Police busting fake massage therapists.

Apparently three young folks advertised their services in the “e rotica” category on Craigslist. For a small fee, you could get a massage, and the bonus is that your masseuse would also be completely unclothed. Kinnn-keee, huh?

The problem is that none of the three were licensed health care professionals.

So Largo Police conducted a highly sensitive undercover operation to oust these dangers to society, and set out to learn just what the heck was going on. Alas, the cops only went “all the way” with only two of the three offenders. It seems that the super-secret operation was suspended with 33% of the work left to do. Read on, friends, with my emphasis on the action phrases:

Brooke Lindsey Tatman, 20, of Seminole… performed the massage in the nude on the undercover detective, according to an arrest affidavit.

Also arrested was Jude Dentici, who arrest affidavits say also performed a massage on an undercover detective while nude.

The third person arrested was Robert “Dickie” Lamert, 22, arrest affidavits state. He offered to massage an undercover detective…

The article doesn’t really explain why Brooke and Jude had to go through with their performances on the undercover (heh) detective, while “Dickie” just had to make the offer.

Sure, there’s the argument that the cops could be out arresting “real” criminals. But then how would they get their free massages - performed by (only the right kind of) na ked people?

Some of you know I send out a holiday CD every year featuring goofy songs I write. This year’s CD, which is en route around the world and most certainly will not arrive by Christmas, features a track I wrote just for all of you fans of the Sticks. Longtime readers will find all kinds of fun treasures amidst my lame attempt at rapping (and yeah, Tommy, I know you wanted to be a part, but I haven’t been able to leave my house in a few weeks due to working on holiday stuff). All apologies to Run-D.M.C. for ripping their groove.

So, folks, here we go. Share with anyone you like. And happy holidays.

Christmas In Pinellas (2:42)

• lyrics
• mp3
• m4a

At gunpoint, outside of my home, about two hours ago (it’s about midnight right now). Three guys, might have been teenage kids but were probably in their twenties. They pulled up on BMX style bikes and surrounded me after I got my mail. One pulled a gun and held it about a foot from my chest while the other two went through my pockets and got my phone and wallet. I was pretty pissed off and annoyed…you know how when things like this happen, car accidents for example, and time actually seems to slow down? “Great. I’ll need to call the bank. And get a new drivers license. That’s going to suck. The lines there are ridiculous. And I’m sure they’ll take my phone. I’ll need to suspend the service and order a replacement. I hope someone is still up who will let me use theirs”…until the gun came out and then. Everything. Ground. To. A. Dead. Stop.

I was utterly paralyzed. I couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, nothing. I held my arms up and stared at the gun while two of them went through my pockets. I hate guns. Hate ‘em. After all, crime etiquette seems to have changed for the worse over the years. In the good old days, the Golden Rule was “Don’t try anything funny and nobody gets hurt”. Now, you hear about it all the time, bad guys are willing to kill (forget hurt) people for absolutely no reason whatsoever, whether you pull anything, funny or otherwise.

The whole thing probably took 15 seconds or less but I stood there in that spot after they rode off for, I don’t know, what felt like ten minutes or more. Then I threw up. Then I went to a neighbor’s house and called 911. A Hillsborough County sheriffs deputy showed up before it was 10:30 and took my info. I left and went to find a phone where I could cancel my bank card and also suspend my phone service. the first place I went was Wendy’s on Himes and Hillsborough. Their dining room was closed and they wouldn’t let me in. I tried the TGIFriday’s next door and a manager met me at the door and told me they were closed as well. I asked if I could use his phone, that it was sort of an emergency and he told me that the only phones they had received incoming calls only. Isn’t that interesting? I’m supposed to believe that an establishment that serves alcoholic beverages and prepares food for people to eat apparently doesn’t have enough trust in their employees to allow them to make outgoing telephone calls. I know I found it interesting. More infuriating really, but still interesting. A lot of bullshit you hear these days isn’t all that interesting. This was some interesting bullshit. At any rate, it says something about the society we’ve built for ourselves. I’m not sure what, but something.

Eventually, I found a gas station that kindly allowed me to use their phone and I was all set and went back to the apartment. I wasn’t scared anymore. The gun was long gone and I think I handled business on the phone and with the deputy coherently. But now I was really angry. Because I had lost my stuff, sure. But mostly at myself for letting it happen in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the macho man type and I’m smart enough to know that stuff can be replaced and is not worth risking life and limb. But I pride myself on being alert and recognizing threats and responding accordingly. And I had seen these three assholes on their bikes when I first pulled up and had made a mental note to call the cops because they looked really suspicious (I have a simple theorem that anytime you see an adult riding a child’s bicycle after dark, they’re probably up to no good; this theorem has yet to be disproved). But I lost sight of them, thought they were gone and let my guard down. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Now, not only had they robbed me but were still out there, free to rob and/or hurt somebody else. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!

I was also really angry because now I was a member of the Victims Of Violent Crime Club. I had never been mugged before and you’d think that now that I have, I’d be at ease because statistically the odds of it happening again are proportionately lower. But the brain doesn’t work that way. Once you’re a member of the Victims Of Violent Crime Club, you immediately start thinking of yourself as someone upon whom violent crimes are perpetrated. Hell, I’ve only been a member for three hours (it’s about 1:00AM now) and that’s how I’m thinking. I’m worried that the thugs who robbed me now know my address (they have my driver’s license) and will break into my home. Maybe tomorrow when I’m gone. Maybe later tonight while I’m (trying to fall) asleep. I don’t know. I’ve loved living in my neighborhood but now I’m embarrassed. There’s no such thing as good and bad neighborhoods anymore; all manner of crime happens everywhere now. But still. I’m worrying if my friends are going to worry about being safe if they come over. As a member of the Victims Of Violent Crime Club I’m wondering if they should be worried.

And it’s all because one of these punks pointed a gun at me. If you’ve never had a gun pointed at you, with or without malice behind it, I’d recommend you do what’s necessary to keep it that way. It’s really not a worthwhile experience. It doesn’t build character, it doesn’t test your mettle, it makes you feel impotent and somehow less-than-human. When someone indicates that they are willing to end your life to acquire some of your possessions, it’s an indication that that person doesn’t put a high price tag on your existence. Because of this, if they had just come up, demanded my wallet, maybe knocked me on the ground, I’d have given it to them and I’d still be pissed off but it would have been different.
Damn it, why’d they have to have a gun?

(Cross posted at Ridiculously Inconsistent Trickle Of Consciousness)

What’s all this talk about VP of Student Affairs Jennifer Meningall and the mismanagement of funds? Apparently no one knows, which is why students held a sit-in last Tuesday to get some answers. I didn’t attend due to class but the Oracle had covered it in its last two issues.

The story is that former senior associate VP of student affairs James Dragna had emailed about 80 people, including President Genshaft, with an outline of accusations including VP Meningall’s mismanagement of funds, unethical behavior, appointing friends to positions, and hostility toward employees. What went down at the sit-in was that no one from administration showed up, even though the sit-in had been pre-determined and administration alerted.

This confusion just goes to show how obscure everything is. To the administration: why not just address the student body and set the record straight? This is relevant information that we students are interested to know about. That’s partly our money, is it not, that’s supposedly being mismanaged? In regards to the lack of funds being given to the University Police (one of the key topics at the sit-in), today’s editorial in the Oracle reminds us that this is a present danger for every USF affiliate on campus. Think of Virginia Tech. Now how scary is it that the policy staff can barely handle everyday crime? What is it, 4 officers are currently employed?

If anyone knows anything about what’s going on, let me know. I, like all the students I’ve encountered are only going off rumors and have only the Oracle to keep me informed.

Back in March, a Tampa woman boarded her child’s school bus and encouraged her to fight another student. She was convicted of trespassing and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Apparently, Karen Barber doesn’t read the newspapers or watch the news. Karen is a St. Pete mom, and she too got on a school bus to resolve a conflict with violence.

Her son (let’s call him Punk) picked up another boy’s (we’ll call him Joe) folder. Punk decided to keep Joe’s folder, so Joe punched Punk, and got his folder back. Even-Steven.

But Punk’s ma failed to ascertain that the situation had resolved itself, so she decided to head over to Joe’s house and threaten to shoot up the house. Joe’s mom rolled her eyes and went about her business. Of course, this didn’t sit well with Punk’s ma. The next day, she followed the kids’ school bus, and encouraged the driver to pull over. Punk’s ma boarded the bus with another of her children, a daughter. Before they left the bus, both the mom and the daughter gave Joe a couple of slaps on the face.

Where on earth are these people learning their parenting skills?

We’ve been following the case of the USF students being held on federal terrorism charges, and it’s time for an update.

The feds are starting to release more information about the pair, and the news isn’t good. The St. Pete Times put it this way:

Pipes stuffed with fertilizer, Karo syrup and kitty litter. Bullets and fuses. A laptop with Internet searches about martyrdom, Hamas and Qassam rockets. Video instructions for turning a child’s toy into a detonator.

Even more troubling is a secret recording police made of the two as they sat in the back of a police cruiser, speaking Arabic and discussing the explosives they’d previously said they knew nothing about.

Of course, that information is almost certainly inadmissible, but it does give reason to suspect my previous assertions of the pair’s innocence were premature. Furthermore, that Mohamed had made a video showing how to create a remote-control bomb is almost certainly damning evidence.

Even CAIR, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, has harsh words for Mohamed.

“It’s obvious there are two separate individuals with different charges and different allegations,” he said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the two individuals end up having separate cases altogether.”

He defended Megahed, saying it appeared he “just happened to be in the car.” But he had harsher words for Mohamed.

If he could talk to Mohamed, Bedier said, “I’d say, ‘Wake up!’ ”

I’ve been asked to comment to the federal judge regarding Megahed, though it’s not a subpoena, so I can refuse. I probably will. At the moment, he’s free on $200,000 bond, though still restricted to house arrest.

Mohamed is not so lucky, and at the moment, he’s looking less innocent by the day.

My earlier post about USF students Youssef Megahed and Ahmed Mohamed inspired quite a reaction. Winds of Jihad called me a “Islamofascist sympatyzer” and even Sticks readers suggested I was being too easy on the suspected “terrorists.”

Now, in what seems to be an unprecedented statement, the FBI says you should probably avoid linking these guys with terrorism. A former federal prosecutor called the statement “highly unusual,” though most of us have found ourselves in a work situation lending itself to the acronym “CYA.”

FBI spokesman Richard Kolko says they’re just fireworks:

There’s no (terrorism link) that we’ve identified at this point. They got pulled over and had just enough suspicious things to warrant investigation. We don’t think there’s that much to it. They had some materials to make some pretty good-sized homemade fireworks but not bomb stuff.

Meanwhile, Sheriff Buford T. Justice Sheriff’s captain Rick Ollic is confident he’s caught hisself some real turrists.

We made the proper charges against these people. We are continuing the investigation. These charges are appropriate.

The FBI’s not so sure, there, Rick. (”These people”?) Not that the FBI is the last bastion of investigative work, but when they release an “unprecedented” backtracking memo, you know they’re trying to get as far away from this case as possible.

That doesn’t help Youssef and Ahmed, who are still stuck in solitary confinement.

It also doesn’t help hatemongers from renaming USF “Jihad U”.

I’ve held off on writing this for a long time as I’m not sure how to address it and remain within the ethics of both blogging and my teaching profession.

Certainly you’ve heard the story by now of Yousef Megahed and Ahmed Mohamed, USF students picked up in South Carolina on charges of terrorism.

The students claim the “explosive devices” in their trunk were simply fireworks, while Berkeley County Sheriff Wayne DeWitt says they definitely had bombs in the trunk.

Meanwhile, Megahed’s family, on vacation themselves at the time of the arrest, consented to an FBI search of their house — only to find the feds took all their computers away.

I’m actually familiar with Mr. Megahed, having had him as a student and seeing him around campus. He’s a nice kid, an excellent student, and given the bully pulpit of a speech class, never used his time to spout any kind of extremist rhetoric. That hasn’t stopped sites like this from labeling them “Islamic terrorists” or this woman from identifying them as Al Qaeda members.

The problem, of course, is that we’ll probably never know the details about what was in the students’ trunk; what I call fireworks may be dangerous bombs to Sheriff Buford T. Justice. The boys aren’t getting out of jail any time soon; a $300k and $500k bail will tend to keep you from posting. The nearly-graduated students are “flight risks,” after all.