Sticks of Fire: a Tampa blog

On the heels of the well-to-do Cheval residents up in arms about the neighborhod wall, now comes some well-to-do Bayshore residents with their own protest.

Previously we had well-to-do Harbour Island residents complaining about downtown traffic, and well-to-do Avila residents complaining about wildlife.  What’s next? 

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) annually receives more than 18,000 alligator-related complaints.  It is pretty clear that gators are here to stay:

Alligators have inhabited Florida’s marshes, swamps, rivers and lakes for many centuries, and are found in all 67 counties. In recent years, Florida has experienced tremendous human population growth. Many residents seek waterfront homes, and increasingly participate in water-related activities. This can result in more frequent alligator-human interactions, and a greater potential for conflict.

For those of you who recently moved to Florida, the FWC has a few tips on how to get along with your new neighbors.  Read the page entitled Living with Alligators.  Not “getting rid of gators,” or ”staying away from gators,” or even “if you happen upon an alligator.”  For those of you that still don’t understand, there is also a Power Point Presentation:  Living with Alligators.

First off I would like to thank the brave officers who came to my assistance last evening. You see, a neighbor had warned me that a very large boa constrictor had been spotted near our houses. CRIKEY! I have two cats and a morsel sized dog, not to mention a small child. Living as I do IN THE CITY, I don’t usually have too much concern about wild exotic animals that could eat my critters. I was unsettled by the news so I went out to take a look in my front yard and immediately spotted the villain slithering towards my backyard.

I called animal services but it was after hours so I called 9-1-1 and the operator had the temerity to tell me that she hoped it had eaten recently. Hah, hah, very funny. The first two officers arrived right away but despite my taunting, wouldn’t go wrangle the thing until the third, more experienced with snakes, officer arrived. Then the real snake handlers arrived and I kid you not, picked up the snake and kissed it on the head. “It’s docile. Anybody else want to give it a kiss?”

Then all my neighbors posed with it for pictures and it was all roses and sunshine. But docile or not, a snake’s gotta eat and even my bony little Italian Greyhound would look like dessert to a hungry reptile.

So that’s my story and here’s my question: What’s the strangest animal you’ve heard about turning up in Tampa or its environs?

I’m sure you have heard. Because of the lack of rain hereabouts, Hillsborough County has restricted how you can use water.  For quick reference:

• If your address ends in 0 or 1, you can only flush your toilets on Mondays.
• If your address ends in 2 or 3, you must do the dishes while you bathe on Tuesdays.
• If your address ends in 4 or 5, bring your laundry with you into the shower on Wednesdays.
• If your address ends in 6 or 7, you must shower with the neighbors to your right on Thursdays.
• On Fridays, if your address ends in 8 or 9, each of the three houses to your left will be coming over for a group shower.  You cannot turn away those with pets.

Remember, no matter your special water days, you must collect and save the condensation from your air conditioner.

Hurricane season starts next week. I’m not one of those that are gonna tell you to go buy $5,000 worth of hurricane supplies. You may not need it. The real questions to ask are these: Do you know what you need? Can you spend five days in your house? Do you know where to go? Do you even have to leave?

If a big one hits here, you better know what you are doing. We obviously cannot depend on government (see Katrina) to bail us out. Nor should we have to. Each of you should have a plan of what to do, where to go, and who to contact.

If you need some ideas of where to start your plan, TBO put together a quick overview of what you can expect from government. Don’t just read it - use the information to get your act together. The more of us that are ready = less of us gumming up the works.

I’m confident no hurricane will strike within 300 miles of Tampa Bay this year.  But in case I’m wrong, I know exactly who / what / where / when and why I’m doing, anyway.  You should too.

In case you hadn’t realized, it’s been pretty dry here lately. Tampa International Airport has recorded only a quarter-of-an-inch of rain since February 1.  It’s not as if Florida has become an Oklahoma dust-bowl, but there are signs we are headed that way…

Florida is so parched that:

• “Snap, Crackle, Pop.”  That’s not breakfast, it’s watering your “lawn.”
• You’d gladly waste a gallon of gas to get to a gallon of water.
• All mosquito control workers have been transferred to the water police force.
• You are using your blue tarp for shade.
• In addition to water restrictions, local government is considering alternating BBQ days (enforcing firework laws is not mentioned).
• Even legal immigrants took a day off, just to get out of the sun.
• Hundreds of homeowners go outside, grab a hose, and find… Neighbors!  Awkward silence runs rampant.
• TSA agrees to pay for pat-downs, if Bucs pays to water the field.
• Florida Aquarium is only half-full! (Or is it half-empty?)
• Illegal immigrants will be granted amnesty so El Niño can get back to work.
• State officials ok offshore drilling for water.
• Local kids are performing a rain dance.  Although they might just be standing in fire ants.
• You are looking forward to hurricane season.

The above was inspired by an email sent by Sticks reader and local rabble rouser Lawrence R. Schuler.

This past week, a Miami developer announced his plans for a new condo tower next to the Floridan hotel. The developer, Haim Einhorn, wants to put in a 479-foot tower with 250 units “that young people with $40,000 salaries could afford.”

At 479 feet, the tower would be the tallest in the immediate area by about a hundred feet (the federal courthouse tops out at 375 ft.)  The building will loom large over the Floridan Hotel (which it would share the block with) by 275 ft. Several city council members have expressed reservations in the past about permitting anything taller than 120 feet in the North Franklin area of downtown so it’s unclear if the promise of affordable housing will be enough to let this project go through or if the city council will let altitude scare off another positive addition to downtown.

This project is exactly the sort of development downtown needs. Even the much-vaunted Skypoint condo tower is a bit pricey for the majority of Tampa’s younger downtown employees. Potential downtown citizens can easily become dismayed when they find that a Skypoint condo with a $170,000 price tag will afford you only 675 square feet of living space.  I live in a 980 square foot, one bedroom condo myself and can’t imagine living in something smaller.  300 less feet of space?  That’s my entire bedroom!

It remains to be seen what this new tower might offer with pricing and square footage, but I’m encouraged by the developer’s knowledge that most of us still consider forty grand is a lot of money.