The Castle’s Infected Year Anniversary Party and first-ever Zombie Pub Crawl (where zombie patrons start out at The Dirty Shame and zombie-walk their way down to The Castle) are coming up, and I’d like to take this 
opportunity to send out a public service announcement to everyone attending AND to all of those people out there who have never been to The Castle but think it would be fun to go to such a decadent and dark place, have a few beverages, and go crazy.
You see, I’ve been a Castle regular for a few years now, and I’ve noticed that the trouble makers out there aren’t the people wearing dark eyeliner and long black coats. Instead, it’s usually the group of frat boys or the really drunk couple who’ve managed to stagger their way from another bar that get into fights, proposition the women, and eventually get kicked out. So, here are a pretty simple list of rules to keep even the most obnoxious customer from getting the boot. (I’m in no way affiliated with The Castle and all of these views are my own.)
Don’t bite strangers, ever.
I’m not sure when this came into vogue. But, I’ve been bitten multiple times by complete strangers who think it’s cute. One of them was a nicely dressed (think button down, short sleeved white shirt and khaki pants) middled-aged man who decided to try to chomp down on my neck on the dance floor. I don’t care what you guys have heard about The Castle. That’s just not cool.
Don’t scratch people.
I don’t care if you did get that shiny new finger armor for your first trip out to a goth club.
Don’t body slam little girls because they don’t want to dance with you.
I think of this as the “Frat Boy Slam.” My friend Nikki, a tiny wisp of a goth model (who probably 
weighed 105 soaking wet) denied a big, beefy guy a trip around the dance floor, so he and his friends tackled her, which sent her flying across the room and left her in a crumpled heap on the floor in a crowd of horrified regulars. She wasn’t hurt; they got kicked out. Everyone was lucky she didn’t get hurt.
If you’re with a group of your friends, don’t try to single out pretty goth girls and boys and separate them from their friends, especially if they’re having a conversation.
There have been countless times where I’ve caught up with old friends after the club has closed down. And, almost every time, a group of guys will come up and try to get me to talk to them privately. (1. I’m having a conversation. Interrupting is rude. (2. I’m not going to go have a private talk with four or five guys who have had way to much to drink and are fake whispering and giggling to get my attention. Ever.
Don’t allow yourself to drink so much you can no longer function.
A lot of problems can be avoided by not getting drunk. I don’t get drunk at The Castle, yet I manage to have fun. In fact, people have been known to have one or two drinks and not exceed their limit.
So, just to wrap things up, don’t be an idiot. It will make the people around you respect and like you a whole lot more, and it will keep you from living on forever in their “idiot at The Castle” stories. I’ll see you guys at the party on Saturday.
This concludes your public safety announcement. Please enjoy your regularly scheduled programming.
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